Bleeding Chaos (Love and Lyrics #4) Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Love and Lyrics Series by Nikki Ash
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Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
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Kaylee laughs. “I met Gage when we were in high school. He was best friends with Declan, Camden, and Braxton, and I was best friends with Tori and Layla.” At the mention of Tori’s name, I go still.

“The guys’ dream was to make music. Every day, we hung out in the studio while they wrote and played. Everyone knew they were going to blow up. They were that damn good. The music seeped from their pores. They lived and breathed it like it was an extension of them. I can’t remember a day when Gage didn’t have those damn drumsticks sticking out of his back pocket.” She laughs, but it sounds far away as if she’s reliving that time in their life. I stay quiet, letting her say what she obviously came here to say.

“Gage never had a real family growing up. He had his mom, but she wasn’t all there, and he spent more time as a kid trying to take care of her than she took care of him. The day he met Camden, though, he found his family. The moment Camden welcomed him into the fold, the guys became inseparable. Where one went, they all followed. I didn’t become close with them until our sophomore year, but everyone knew those boys were more like brothers than friends.

“When his foster parents all but kicked him out when he turned eighteen, Cam’s parents even insisted he live with them. And when Tori died, they helped him move forward the best they could.”

She sniffles back emotion. “The guys knew he was struggling with drugs, but he wouldn’t talk about it. When I went on tour with them, I saw it for myself and told them they needed to do something, but they were too close to Gage. They loved him and accepted him the way he was. They knew he was still grieving, and instead of pushing him to get help, they enabled him.”

I nod in understanding, knowing all too well how that works. One of my biggest regrets is not forcing Vincent to get help or, at the very least, walking away from him when I knew he wasn’t going to get the help he needed. It’s easy to point fingers at the family and friends, but I know firsthand that it’s not that easy to force someone to get help.

“For a minute, he started to calm down a little. He didn’t seem to be using as much…”

“When we were hanging out,” I say.

She nods. “We all hoped you’d be the one to save him, but we had no idea that you weren’t in any place to save yourself, let alone him.” She smiles sadly, and I know Gage told them about my past.

“After you left, things got bad, and he tried to end his life.” She swipes at a tear, then glances down at Rory, who’s now sitting on the couch flipping through the book that she can’t read.

“I’m not in any way blaming you, especially now knowing what he did to make you leave. I just wanted to give you the whole story…”

I nod and sigh, thankful Gage didn’t make me out to be the bad guy. “It really hurt,” I choke out. “I know that we weren’t together, and promises weren’t made, but it still really hurt.”

“What he did was wrong on so many levels, and I’m sure it makes it really hard to trust him again.”

“I can tell he’s changed,” I admit, needing to give him some credit. A few times while he was here, I heard him talking to his therapist, and more than once, he said he needed to go to a meeting. “But yeah, it’s still hard to let him in, but I’m trying.”

Kaylee smiles softly for a few seconds before her features morph into a frown. “When he left for rehab, we thought it would be ninety days, and he’d come home clean. But ninety days turned into ten months. The guys refused to play without him. They wouldn’t record a single song until he came home because they’re more than a band… They’re family.

“It took Kendall and me going to him to bring him home because he was scared of how things would be now that he’s sober. He didn’t want to fail anyone or let anyone down. He views Tori’s and his mom’s deaths as his failures. And now, ever since he found out that he’s a dad and you’ve been doing it on your own, he thinks he’s failed you and Rory.” I don’t miss that she calls her Rory instead of Aurora—a nickname only I, and now Gage, call her. Which means he’s been telling them about her enough that she knows her nickname.

My stomach drops, and now I understand where she’s going with this. Gage is moving here, giving up the band to be with his daughter, to make sure he doesn’t fail us, which means he’s leaving the only family he’s ever known and ultimately failing them.


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