Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Sadie: Rory’s cough has taken a turn for the worse. She’s having trouble catching her breath, and they’re admitting her to the pediatric unit at the hospital to monitor her. I’m here now, but there’s no service, so I won’t be able to talk. I’ll call you when I can.
I’ve barely finished reading her text when I’m jumping out of my seat and heading for the door.
“Gage!” Camden barks. “Where are you going?”
Shit! I forgot where I am. “Rory’s having trouble breathing. She’s been admitted to the hospital. I gotta go,” I choke out, hating that in order to be there for my daughter, I’m letting the guys down, but my daughter will always come first. “I’m sorry…”
“What? Don’t apologize,” Declan says. “Go be with your daughter. Let us know if you need anything.”
I nod and haul ass out the door. On the way to the airport, while I’m looking for a flight, Easton texts that the Blackwood jet is available, and he’s already let them know to get it fueled and ready. I thank him and then text Sadie to let her know I’m on my way on the chance it will go through.
A couple of hours later, I arrive at the hospital. A nurse shows me to Rory’s room, and when I walk in, the sight in front of me damn near sends me to my knees. Rory is in the crib with Sadie sitting in a chair next to her. Both girls are asleep—Rory wheezing softly while Sadie’s head is pressed up to the bars of the crib, her hand outstretched through a bar and her fingers laced with our daughter’s. I imagine Rory scared and crying and Sadie trying to comfort her, and my heart cracks open, blood dripping all over the damn floor.
I should’ve been here. Sadie shouldn’t have to go through this on her own. She’s not the only parent, and she deserves to have a partner by her side. My mom never had anyone, and I won’t let that happen to Sadie. I can’t have my daughter growing up and thinking it’s the norm to see her dad more over the phone than in person. And it’s not fair to the guys for me to keep taking off and leaving them hanging. It’s also not good for me to keep stretching myself thin. I want… no, I need to stay healthy and clean, and I can’t do that if I’m constantly being tugged in every direction. If I feel like I’m failing everyone, including myself.
As I watch Sadie and Rory sleep, I consider every option, every road in front of me to take, and even though it’s going to hurt like a bitch, I know what I have to do.
I step outside and consider if I should call or text the guys. It’s late, and they’re probably with their wives and kids, so I choose to text them—I’m also a fucking pussy and, even though it needs to be done, I hate that I have to do it.
Me: You guys will never know what it means to me that you had my back all these years, that you waited for me and refused to move forward until I was ready, but I can’t be part of the band anymore. My entire world is in Virginia, and I can’t be in two places at once. Any songs I wrote or contributed to, I’ll sign over to you guys. I’m sorry, but you need to look for a new drummer.
I hover over the send button, and once I hit it, bile rises up my throat, and I run to the bathroom, throwing up everything in my stomach. Then I turn my phone off so I can focus on my daughter and walk back inside her room, refusing to regret my decision.
A little while later, Sadie wakes up. When she sees I’m here, she looks a bit shocked to see me, like she wasn’t expecting me to fly out to be with her and our daughter, and I promise myself she’ll never have a reason to doubt me again.
“How’s she doing?” I whisper, handing her a bottled water I grabbed from the shop.
After she downs half the bottle, she says, “Okay, I guess. They have her on a mechanical ventilator to help get good oxygen in and the bad out. They explained it all to me, but it’s a lot to process. She was so mad and fought them, so they sedated her to calm her down.” Tears fill her eyes, and I cut across the room to pull her into my arms. “I was so scared, Gage. One minute, she was fine, and the next, she was having trouble catching her breath. I thought…” She sniffles. “I thought she was going to die.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to her,” I vow even though I have no right to say that. “You did the right thing bringing her here.” I situate us on the couch with her in my lap, and surprisingly, she lets me. “You’re an amazing mom, and our daughter is so fucking blessed to have you.”