Bleeding Chaos (Love and Lyrics #4) Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Love and Lyrics Series by Nikki Ash
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Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
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“I didn’t ask him to move here,” I blurt out, suddenly feeling like I need to be on the defense.

“Oh, I know,” she says gently. “It was his decision. He’s torn between being in New York with the band and being here with you and Rory. But he doesn’t want to be away from you guys anymore.” She leans forward and locks eyes with mine. “Gage doesn’t know I’m here, and he probably would be pissed if he knew I was, but I had to come and plead with you. Beg you not to make him choose.”

I swallow thickly with where this is going. “This is my home. You can’t expect me to move back to New York for Gage. He might be doing good right now, but he’s still an addict. What happens when he starts using again?” I say, shaking my head. Moving to Virginia was my fresh start. I hate that I’m not near my son’s and daughter’s graves, but in a way, it’s for the best. It forced me to move forward, to focus on myself, on healing. If I go back…

“His entire family is there,” Kaylee says. “His therapist and sponsor and his meetings. He needs us,” she chokes out, “and we need him. The guys need him. I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but please, don’t let him walk away from us, from the band. It took him so long to get here, to be sober and finally start living again. If you would just be willing to move there, he could have everyone and everything he loves in one place. He needs this, Sadie. He needs to record this album sober and know that he did it, that he didn’t let his brothers down. Please, give him that.

“I know you don’t owe him that, and he might not even deserve it, but please. He needs it.”

Tears prick my eyes, hearing the emotion in every word she speaks, but I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can move there and leave my home and the little bit of support I have behind.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I just… I don’t think I can do it.”

Her face falls, but she nods in understanding. “It’s okay. I had to try.” She stands and smiles sadly. “If it’s okay, could we come and visit one day? Like an actual official visit? Gage has sent us so many pictures and videos, and he doesn’t stop talking about you two. Everyone is dying to meet you both.”

“Of course,” I say, standing to walk her out.

Once she’s gone, I spend the day with Rory, but I can’t stop thinking about everything Kaylee said. When bedtime rolls around, like every night, we FaceTime Gage. He’s usually at the studio or in his room, but tonight when he answers, it looks like he’s around a bunch of people.

“I’m sorry, you’re busy…”

“What? No,” he says. “I’m at the Blackwoods.” He moves his phone so I can see everyone. “This is Easton and Sophia, Camden’s parents.”

I don’t know how I didn’t put it together until now, but I immediately recognize Easton as the pop star that I spent many years listening to… still do. “Hey,” I say, suddenly shy.

“This is Sadie and my princess Rory.”

Rory hears her dad’s voice and instantly perks up. “Dadadada!”

Gage beams. “Hey, princess,” he says softly.

“Hey, Sadie,” Sophia says, her smile filled with kindness. “We’ve heard so much about you. Hopefully, we can meet you one day.”

“That would be great,” I say.

“Oh, Gage,” a woman says, forcing her way into the picture. “She’s so beautiful. Look at that red hair. They’re both beautiful.”

“This is Layla,” Gage says, rolling his eyes playfully. “Camden’s wife.”

“Hi!” She waves.

“I wanna see da baby,” a little girl says, crawling onto Gage’s lap.

“This is Cam and Layla’s daughter, Marianna. See the baby?” he says to her. She nods. “That’s my daughter.”

“Baby!” Marianna says at the same time Rory says, “Dadadada!” grabbing the phone and pulling it to her face as if she can touch him through it if she gets close enough. Her lips press against the screen, and she makes a kissing sound.

“She’s giving you kisses,” I say with a laugh, pulling the phone back.

Gage smiles sadly. “I’ll be there soon,” he says to Rory. “Then you can give me real kisses.”

My heart drops as everyone around him goes quiet, obviously knowing what him coming here means—leaving them.

“We can call back in a little bit,” I say through the lump of emotion that’s filled my throat, making it hard to breathe.

“Nah, just give me a second to go somewhere quiet. Sophia makes the best food, so when she demands I come over for dinner, I can’t say no.”

I nod, unable to say anything. I know he’s not doing this on purpose. He doesn’t know Kaylee was here earlier, but I'm questioning everything now after hearing her and seeing all of the family and support Gage has in New York.


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