Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“Hey,” Beau said. “You’re not selfish. You’re maybe the least selfish person I know, Linc. You try to play it off otherwise, but you’re all heart…and I think maybe that heart is a little more bruised than you’d like most of us to know.”
“Rush knows,” I mumbled.
“If this weren’t such a serious moment, I might have my feelings hurt,” he teased.
Glancing up at him, I said, “He thought I was in love with you, ya know? You’re my best friend, the best I’ve ever had, but…”
“For you, it’s Rush. Just like for me it’s always been Ash.”
I nodded. “I’m crazy fucking in love with him. I don’t know how to lose him.”
“So you’ve already decided that’s going to happen? You’re not going to lose him, Linc. Rush loves you. It’s always been you for him too. I’ve always seen that. I can’t pretend to know what’s going on with him right now, but he’s dealing with a major emotional trauma, and it’s been a rough few months for him, filled with ups and downs. Between Jude coming to stay, his mom, his injury, his season, you… Maybe he just needs to sort through everything in his head and he’s struggling to do that.”
What he said made sense. My brain understood, but my heart was scared. “He’s always so steady. Nothing shakes him. Rush always knows what to do. He always does the right thing. He doesn’t run from his feelings. I just… This is different for him.”
“Well, there’s part of the problem right there,” Beau replied. “Rush isn’t perfect. I think you see him that way. Maybe he wants to feel that way himself, but the truth is, he’s just a man like the rest of us. You can’t be steady and in control all the time. None of us can.”
No, I guessed you couldn’t. But somehow Rush felt better than the rest of us. I saw it. Jude saw it too.
“You have a right to feel everything you’re feeling. And hey, at least he’s texting. Remember how Ash ran away from me? The dumbass. I didn’t even know where he was.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Eh. At least he’s hot.”
Beau laughed. “There’s that.”
“Jesus. Being in love is hard.”
“I have a feeling this is just the beginning. Wait until you move in together. Ash leaves his socks all over the house, and it makes me crazy. How hard is it to put them in the hamper? Oh, and he turns on every light in the house but never turns them off. He’s been up late working on final plans for the camp, and when I get up in the morning, the whole damn house is lit up.”
“So basically Rush will hate living with me? You realize I’m the Ash out of the two of us,” I teased, feeling slightly better.
“I heard that!” Ash yelled from the bedroom.
“You’re not supposed to be listening!” Beau called back.
“I can’t help it if you have a big mouth, Campbell! I might have to stuff one of my dirty socks in it!”
We both laughed, and I realized then that I wanted this, what Ash and Beau had. I wanted nitpicky arguments with Rush. I wanted him to grumble if I was messy and roll his eyes when I was silly and hold me tight when I needed him. I wanted it all, and it seemed I always had.
“He’ll come around. He loves you too much, and this really has nothing to do with you. Don’t drive yourself crazy, and don’t take less than you deserve. Rush is going through a lot, but you don’t deserve to be pushed to the sidelines either. You are Lincoln fucking Gray, after all.”
A grin pulled at my lips. Yeah…yeah, I was, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to lose my man.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Rush
Rush Alexander pulls out of the outdoor season for this summer. We wish his family well.
I sat beside my dad’s hospital bed, listening to the constant beep of machines. It was days later, and I still hadn’t accepted the fact that this had happened, that we were there, that my father, no matter how angry I was at him, might never be the same.
And I had ignored him for months.
When I heard someone come into the room, I forced myself to look up.
“Just me,” Jude said as he walked closer. “Mama K is at home sleeping. You don’t have to pretend for her benefit that you’re not suffering…don’t have to pretend you can handle it all on your own.”
“I can handle it.” That was what I did. I dealt with everything, handled it. I didn’t know how to be any other way.
“Okay,” Jude replied. “When was the last time you slept?”
I shrugged. I didn’t have the strength to argue with him.
“Ate?”
Hell, when was the last time I’d eaten? When nothing came to me, I shrugged again.