Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“Is he okay?” I asked, and all I could think about were all the missed phone calls, all the texts, the fact that no matter what had happened, my dad had always been one of my biggest supporters. My career meant almost as much to my dad as it did to me, and I hadn’t thought of him once tonight. I hadn’t thanked him… I hadn’t thanked him in any of the last races.
“He’s alive. He’s having surgery as we speak. You tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. I want to be there for you.”
My thoughts were spinning. My heart hadn’t found its way back to my chest again. What if he died? What if I’d spent months ignoring him and he died? What he’d done hadn’t changed. I still couldn’t forgive him for hurting Mom, but all I could think was that they were right. He was still my dad, and I hadn’t even spoken to him, and now he could die. “I have to go. I’ll call you back.”
“I can get on a flight and—”
“No,” I cut Lincoln off. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You have work and other responsibilities. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I just… I have to go.”
There was a pause, and then Linc replied, “Okay…if you change your mind, just call and I’ll be there.”
“It’ll be fine,” I told him. It had to be fine. If not, I’d never forgive myself.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Lincoln
I hope Lincoln knows how special he is to so many people. ~ Trey
It had been three days since Rush went to Virginia to see his dad, and we hadn’t spoken once. He texted me a couple of times to give me updates, so it wasn’t as if we hadn’t touched base at all. I’d asked him again if he wanted me to go see him, and he’d again told me no. It was one of those weird situations where I had my feelings hurt, but I didn’t know if I should. Rush was my boyfriend. Weren’t we supposed to support one another in situations like this? Wasn’t he supposed to lean on me? Take comfort in me? I mean, I thought that was how this was supposed to work. If the situation were reversed, I couldn’t imagine Rush not being by my side.
But then, I also knew he was going through a lot. His dad had a major car accident, one they hadn’t known if he would survive. Rush had all sorts of conflicting emotions regarding his dad, their relationship, and what had happened with Rush’s mom. But again, weren’t we supposed to be there for each other in those times?
I couldn’t figure out if this was me being too sensitive, too needy, because I knew I would need Rush if the situation were reversed. Or if I had a right to be hurt.
But then, hadn’t I feared this would happen from the start? That Rush wouldn’t need me the way I needed him or that eventually he’d realize things were easier without me?
I bit down, fighting to block those thoughts from my overactive brain.
I finished my shift at the hospital and checked my phone for a text from Rush. I hadn’t gotten another one since he’d messaged early that morning. His father was recovering. They didn’t know the extent of the damage. He was in the ICU, and now they just waited.
I got home, but the condo was too quiet, and I didn’t last long. Without much thought, I jumped back into my car and drove out to Beau and Ash’s.
“Hey, you!” Ash said when he opened the door for me. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else, and his cheeks were flushed, skin shiny with perspiration.
“Hi.” I walked past him into the house. Beau’s hair was messy, and I was pretty sure I’d interrupted something, even if it was only a heavy make-out session, but I didn’t have it in me to comment about it.
“Five more minutes. All I would have needed was five more minutes,” Ash teased, confirming that I had indeed walked in on something.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I can go.” I turned for the door.
Beau and Ash looked at each other. “What? No sexual innuendo? No offer to watch?” Ash asked, and I shrugged. “I’ll leave you two alone,” he said, and I silently thanked him for it. Right then I just needed the familiar. I wanted to talk to Beau.
When Ash walked by, he ruffled my hair much like Rush used to do.
“Is everything okay? How’s Rush’s dad?” Beau asked as we sat down—Beau on the couch and me on the armchair beside it.
“I think he’s recovering okay.”
“You think?” Beau’s dark brows pulled together, and I couldn’t stop the word-vomit from crawling up my throat.
“I don’t really know. Rush hasn’t called me at all. He’s texted, but I don’t get much out of him. Even when I call him, he replies by text. I asked him numerous times if I should go there, but he always tells me no. I’m freaking out, Beau, and then I’m getting pissed at myself for doing it. Aren’t I supposed to be there with him? Isn’t that what boyfriends do? And all I can think about is the fact that he’s probably done with me, that he doesn’t need me the way I need him, and this is exactly why I didn’t want to do this! I knew it wouldn’t last, and logically, I know I shouldn’t be thinking that way because his dad is in the fucking hospital and all I can think about is me…us. Fucked up, isn’t it? His dad got into a car accident, and I’m worried about my relationship status. I knew I was too selfish for this shit.” It went without saying that I was worried about Rush and his dad, but I felt incredibly self-centered at the moment.