Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
“Everything for me has been hard. An uphill battle. Love is hard for me, too. I’ve never expected it to be easy, but I kinda need that… I need somethin’ that I don’t have to slice my wrist open for to have. Hey,” he tossed up his hands and laughed mirthlessly, “I saw a toxic kinda love growin’ up.” She stretched her leg forward, allowing their feet to touch. “I never saw two healthy people in a marriage or even a relationship for that matter. My grandfather has like six or seven ex-wives… a bunch of kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. He’s not even married right now, and most of my grandmothers live far, far away. The ones who are still alive that is.
“My grandfather’s father was some kind of big-time outlaw. He was dead way before I was born. Most of my cousins have had troubles, and my brothers are goin’ through their own shit, too. I don’t know how to do this shit right, but I’m willin’ to learn. Anything I put my mind to, I can do. You’re a good woman.”
“Thank you.”
“Naw, no thank you required. Being a good woman and a good man should be more common, but it’s not. My parents weren’t bad people, they just weren’t good together. It was always fightin’, drugs, accusations of cheatin’.” He sighed. “I never planned to discuss this tonight, but seeing as how we seem to be… I dunno, gettin’ closer… gettin’ flirty, and things may escalate, I wanted you to know who I really am. No surprises. After all this shit I’ve told you tonight, I don’t blame you if you never wanna go out with me again. You probably want someone who’s more put together.”
“You’re put together. You’re only admitting that you have things to work on. That’s a step in the right direction. Besides, to be human means we’re flawed,” She glanced at her empty glass, but her heart felt so full.
“You already said money don’t impress you much, and you’ve proved that. Money is one of the ways in which I show people I care. Sharing, like I said before. It’s something I never had and always wanted. I respect money because of all the beautiful things it can do. I respect it because I know how it can grow. I know how to get more anytime I want, too. But, I realize that I want somethin’ money can’t buy. I want more than just money in this lifetime.”
“What else do you want?”
He leaned a bit closer, and his lips curled. His eyes sheened ever so slightly, long lashes folded, then expanded as he blinked in slow motion.
“I want… I want somebody to love, and for her to genuinely love me back.” He took her hand and intertwined their fingers. “I know this is kinda heavy and I might be soundin’ like a damn fool but, why in the fuck are you so quiet and polite tonight?”
“Well, I—”
“I don’t get this. Whenever we’ve been out on dates, we talk for hours. On the phone and in person, you ask a million and one questions, and sometimes I can barely get a word in. But not tonight. Why are you doin’ this to me, Genesis? You see I’m dyin’ here!” He laughed, but his face was bright red as if he were embarrassed beyond belief. “This shit I’m telling you makes things awkward enough, as is. I’ve confessed to you that I stole shit, struggled with anger issues as a child, got kicked out of the Marines, lied, cheated, don’t trust people, love money more than I probably should, and a bunch of other crap that puts me in a bad light, and you’re just sitting there looking at me like a deer in headlights. Why?”
“…Because you need somebody to just shut up and listen right now. Sometimes people just need to unburden themselves. I don’t mind being of assistance and offering a listening ear. I don’t need to be the center of attention. I can be in the back and still show my love.”
“And that’s what makes you more desirable to me. I can tell you don’t need me. But you want me.”
She smiled at that. “I do, huh? You think I want you, boy?”
“I know you do…” He drew close to her ear and whispered, “You keep movin’ around in your seat. Squirmin’ like a little bug…You tried to readjust your underwear in the front without me seeing. But I saw you… you’re wet for me…aren’t you?”
“Mmm hmmm.” Her face flushed with heat.
“You kept touchin’ your hair as you looked at me. A tell-tale sign of attraction and desire. Rubbing your ankle and leg along mine. You loved it when I kissed you… I could hear your breathing get faster. That’s how I know that you want me in a more, shall we say, intimate way now.”