Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
“Pot, meet kettle. You’re one to talk. I bet the back of your ass looks like a smooshed, white raisin. You’re an ancient, repulsive, soul sucker. An energy vampire who pops Viagra and downs prune juice shots. Your memories are silent and in black and white, and if you walk into an antique shop, you’re liable to have a price sticker slapped onto your forehead, and you placed on a clearance rack. Bonnie is my mama, Reeves is my Daddy, and you ain’t nobody. There’s more where that came from. Don’t go there with me.” Grandpa’s loud laugh made his ears ring. “Seein’ as how women the same age as your great grandchildren are lyin’ down with your dusty, cobweb-covered balls, you need to watch your mouth. You fart out fog, and shoot dust from your dick hole, so I think you have no room to judge or discuss what goes on in another man’s bedroom, especially your own son’s.”
“Well, the only bedroom your papa has now is a six by eight prison cell down in the Pelican State. Serves him right. Fucking drug addict. My own blood tarnished the family name. Another black sheep in his own way. You definitely didn’t get your smarts from him or your mama.”
“Grandpa,” Roman sighed and briefly closed his eyes, “sayin’ dumb, childish shit about my father or mother won’t make me go apeshit. I’m not Lennox. I ain’t got no bleedin’ heart. I don’t give a flyin’ fuck. My pulse is the exact same as it was before you called, and it’ll be the same rate after we end this conversation. I’ve heard it all before. I heard it from kids when we were growin’ up. We’d say mean stuff to each other to get a laugh. We had an excuse back then though.”
“And what excuse was that?” Grandpa managed between chuckles.
“We were children way back then. You’re a grown, decrepit man crackin’ jokes about a woman who showed you nothin’ but respect, even when you damn sure didn’t deserve it. She’s beautiful regardless of what you say. Weight can be lost. Ugliness of the heart is forever. That makes you the homeliest motherfucker to walk God’s green Earth.”
“You know what? You’re right, Roman. It’s a mystery though how she got so big… then so small… then so big again… Just like another mystery I know about. An unsolved mystery that is an open case ’til this day.”
“The mystery of how Moses was your best friend in high school, and you sailed the Dead Sea when it was only sick?”
“You know what’s really funny, Mr. Comedy Central? I knew you were in Vegas around the time when that shit happened, and I knew Wilde blood was probably involved. It was just my intuition. And before you go sayin’ I have no evidence, little black sheep, that’s where you’re wrong. Ya see, when I had my boys come round up you and your other fucked up, derelict, no good cousins, they did some diggin’ around in your home.” Roman swallowed. “Found your little book from back yonder.
“My instructions were to look everywhere, but not in obvious places. Also, look in his safe. I knew the code wouldn’t be easy to crack, but one of my guys is a specialist in such matters. It was really hard to dig up dirt on you, seein’ as how careful and sneaky you are, but with this? Well, you slipped up, and that book of yours landed in the right hands. Now what do you have to say for yourself?”
“You want me to plead or somethin’? Beg you?” Roman laughed. “I fight fire with fire. Man, fuck you.”
“If you were in my face right now, I’d put a bullet in your damn leg and make you walk it off. I know you’re angry, boy, but this is how we play ball. Gotta fight fire with fire, remember? Your own words are now doing a two-step. See… you and I are so much alike. I know how you think, too. Your greediness made you proud of that little feat. So much so, you kept that plan book like a little memento.”
That wasn’t the reason why I kept it at all… but I’m damn sure not in the mood to correct the bastard.
“You were always so meticulous and anal about your charts, graphs, and ideas. Very thorough, indeed. Calculating. No one would eeeeeeever think that a pretty boy like you, so innocent, so sincere, such a nice smile ’nd all, and he served our country, damn it, could pull off such a thing! You don’t look like you’d be so gotdamn smart, but looks are deceiving. You don’t like what you are: brilliant. But I know you, Roman. We’re cut from the same cloth. You’ve got a marvelous mind, but you’re tricky. Dastardly. Devious. Pretending to be chummy with Little Bo Peep, when really, it’s you and the Big Bad Wolf who are the best of friends, plottin’ to eat the flock.”