Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
If I could’ve wiped my memories of him before the change, maybe I wouldn’t be so hung up on him now and would’ve moved on, but those memories and those images of a better time have been etched on my heart and refuse to go away.
That’s why no matter what anyone says or has said over the years, I could never just give up on him. So why am I giving him such a hard time now that he is here? Was it really because it was too late? If so, why can’t I let go? He’d given me the closure I so desperately needed.
Knowing everything that I do now, shouldn’t my heart move on? Why does it insist on holding on to something that no longer exists? No matter what, we can never go back, and he will never be that innocent boy again. Instead, he’ll forever be the man who crushed my dreams.
I looked at him now, hoping for something to change, for there to be no feelings at all, but it was still there. He mistook my look of despair and rushed to reassure me.
“You don’t have to worry; everything is taken care of. No one is going to hurt Missy. I love her too, remember?”
“What do you mean everything is taken care of?”
“There’s something I haven’t told you about yet.”
“More secrets Ryder? Aren’t you tired yet?”
“It’s nothing like that, and I was going to tell you once we got that other stuff out of the way. It’s about the deal with Saunders. The deal with Saunders and that MengeLiNi person online, it’s all a front.”
“A front for what?”
“It’s a crazy story. After I saw you in Europe, I went into hiding. Mom had hired a private investigator by then, and somehow his probing brought him to the attention of Saunders, and that led to three little girls getting involved.”
“What little girls? What’re you talking about?”
He told me some convoluted story that was too crazy to be a lie, and I felt myself slipping further down the rabbit hole. “And these people are protecting Missy?”
“And you. That car that has been following you, I’m pretty sure it’s them. They all seem to drive G-Wagons.”
“I don’t understand any of this; why would they go to so much trouble for someone they don’t know?”
“I think there’s more to it. Something to do with Mary and the church; they’re just using me as a cover of sorts. As to the MengeLiNi nieces, I think they’re fans.”
“Are you telling me that three little girls are responsible for doing all of that stuff online?”
“Yeah, I know, right.”
“But where did they get all the information?”
“I have no idea, but if you think they’re good, imagine the guys and whoever they’re working with. It’s scary.”
“I wanna meet these people.”
“Who? Tyler and Zak?”
“Yes, I want to know what’s going on. This is all just too crazy.” I wanted to hit him again, but I had no excuse this time. “And I don’t trust you.” One last dig because physical violence was off the table.
“Those fucking plastic Barbies are evil.”
“Yeah, they are, and so is Janie. I never understood why she was ok with the plastic Barbies, as you call them, being around, knowing my history with them, why it never seemed to bother her.”
“You really are dumb.”
“No, really, I was convinced that she was this good girl. Matt sold me on that one. Even before the whole wedding fiasco, he was trying to push the two of us together. I never really understood why. It started after our first breakup.”
“Which was his doing, if you recall.”
“Yeah, I know, but back then, I thought he was just looking out for me. I didn’t think anything of it when he introduced me to Janie and her dad; it was done so casually that there was no room for suspicion.”
“Everything he did since then was calculated, but I didn’t see it because by then, I was so hooked on shit that I didn’t really care. Now I know he got me hooked on drugs and just took over my life for his own gains.”
“Poor you and the stupid teenager who did her best to save you ended up with the shittiest end of the stick.” I wish my mind would make itself up. One minute I wanted him here, though I won’t be caught dead telling him that, and the next, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
“Do you know that no one wants me to get back with you? No o who loves me, none of the people I like and trust. None of the people who were there for me when you broke me wants me to get back with you or to ever even look in your direction.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I talked over him and kept going because I needed to get it all out because I had no plans of seeing his face ever again.