Exposing the Groom Read Online Rachel Van Dyken

Categories Genre: Chick Lit, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
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I crane my head toward him. “You were the kid with the orange vest and the clipboard, weren’t you?”

He beams. “I was also a Cub Scout!”

Oh, shit, he just saluted us; his chest could not be more puffed out.

I shake my head while Scarlett leans over and pats him on the knee. “The trauma you must have faced.”

He frowns. “No, I mean, I resolved conflict.”

“Sure you did, buddy.” I nod. “Sure you did.”

He yawns. “Wake me up when we’re there.”

He was out in minutes like a tired toddler, snoring and everything.

Scarlett sighs. “You totally beat up the hall monitors in middle school, didn’t you?”

“No.” I laugh. “I did steal their candy, though.”

She gasps like I’m a murderer. “You stole candy from your fellow classmates?”

“I called it the candy tax.” I smile as I nod. “And they paid up.”

“Did you steal milk too?”

“How else do you down an entire Hershey bar?”

“Monster.”

“Yeah, okay Prom Queen.”

Her eyes widen. “Take it back!”

“Oh please, you scream popular. I bet you were prom queen, lost your V-card on prom night after the idiot that under-appreciated you put rose petals in a nice little trail toward the bed where he’d last three seconds then ask if it was good for you too while you sat there wondering what all the fuss was about.”

Her mouth gapes, then snaps shut. She grabs the bourbon. “Maybe it’s best if we just all take a time out before we arrive at Hell.”

“Weird.” I look around. “It feels oddly hot in here, I thought we were already at our destination?”

She rolls her eyes. “Silence, Leather Pants.”

“Okay, Turtle Torturer.”

We’re quiet the rest of the ride.

I tell myself not to look at her every once in a while. Instead, like a lameass, I stare at her reflection in the window and wonder why I can’t control myself around her, and why I walked away in the first place when all I wanted to do was run back.

Idiot.

And now she has him.

Brains are more dangerous than dicks. So yeah, I have reason to be concerned. Then again, most guys think with their dicks. What the hell do priests think with? Their hearts?

After setting my empty glass in the cupholder, I groan and lean back, closing my eyes. If she wants silence, I’ll give her silence.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Scarlett

I’m drunk. So wasted that everything is blurry in front of me, and any minute I’m pretty sure I’m going to puke all over the nice limo. Why is it spinning? Oh, yeah. I stare down at the empty bourbon bottle and giggle.

Oh, no!

I’ve got the giggles.

This is bad, really bad.

The winery is pretty from what I can see. Killian’s leaning against the door, eyes closed. Dustin’s awake and typing furiously on his phone, then brings it to his ear. “ETA one minute.”

Shit!

I quickly look at my reflection in my phone and grab some lip gloss but it’s like I can’t find it in my purse. My eyes are bloodshot, my skin blotchy and swollen, and my hair’s sticking up like I slept.

Wait, did I sleep?

Or did I pass out?

I smile despite the fact that my stomach is rolling and my vision is so blurry, I’m afraid it’s going to go full tunnel and I’m going to pass out the minute I breathe fresh air.

Pass out. I cover my mouth with another laugh. “She’d deserve it, that bitch.”

Killian opens his eyes and stares at me. “The hell sort of language are you speaking?”

“I said she’d deserve it, that bitch,” I clarify slowly.

Dustin leans forward. “Sweetheart, you said shesh deserva bish.”

“Huh?” I frown. “No, I didn’t, I may be drunksh, but I can… talk.” I sway a bit and nod my head a few times.

Dustin elbows Killian. “Make her stop nodding, it’s scaring me.”

“You good?” Killian asks, leaning forward and peering at me with a narrowed gaze. “You look sloshed.” He glances over at the empty bottle, and his eyes widen as though they might pop out of their sockets. “This was at least half full when I closed my eyes.”

“And now!” I spread my arms wide. “It’s inside!”

“Please, God, keep it there.” Dustin swears under his breath. “All right, showtime. Killian, be on your best behavior. Everyone should be inside having a light afternoon lunch and happy hour, and since this one smells like happy hour we should fit right in!”

“I could drink.” I nod then giggle. “I’m kidding.”

“She’s nodding again,” Dustin whispers.

I sway forward and flip him off.

“Why did she give you a thumbs up?” Killian says under his breath.

“Maybe it means something different in her country of origin?”

Killian rolls his eyes. “She’s Seattle born, idiot.”

“Aw.” I place my hands against my chest. “You member!”

Dustin makes a face. “I don’t think you said what you think you said. Let’s just not talk until we can get you all checked in and at your room, and oh, mother of God. Shit on me. Shit. Shit!” Dustin puts his phone away and grabs his leather bag then forces a seriously scary smile on his face. I can’t tell if it’s because I see three of him or if he’s just… terrifying while I’m under influences.


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