Exposing the Groom Read Online Rachel Van Dyken

Categories Genre: Chick Lit, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
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Or the influence.

Influencer? Influencee?

I burst out laughing.

“Killian… I’m scared.”

“Posh!” I yell, spreading my arms wide. “Isn’t that what the Brits say?”

Killian shakes his head slowly. “Maybe my grandma.”

“She still alive?”

“Shit on me. I agree with you, Dustin. All right, let’s get the drunken one out of here and get to our rooms so we can rest before dinner.”

He goes to open the door when it suddenly flies open and my dear wonderful, hateful, mean little sister is the one that did it.

“Oh my gosh you’re finally here!” She pulls him in for a familiar hug while I reach for the bourbon bottle. A small goose egg on her head would be fine; her veil would cover the evidence and I’d feel vindicated.

Killian stands to his full height, and I clamber after him in an effort to get out of the car and face her and not look like I’m ready to topple over.

Dustin swears behind me and gets out with that same creepy smile that makes me giggle.

“Oh.” Addison’s wearing a skintight white elegant strapless dress that goes to her knees and a pair of expensive camel-colored heels I’m sure they have a red bottom just like I’m sure she just got a light spray tan and Botox in her forehead with some filler in her chin. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a low bun with perfectly placed pieces of hair kissing her cheeks. Her gold necklace has a small diamond in the middle and the rock on her hand appears to need assistance being carried around or she’s going to get tennis elbow.

Please let her get tennis elbow. “I’m confused, why are you guys in the same car?” She fans her face and laughs. “What’s that smell?”

“Sadness,” Dustin blurts. “Arguing. And a bit of weird flirtation, but who am I to judge?” He laughs and rocks awkwardly back on his heels. “Um, anyway—”

“No, no, no.” Addison takes a long sip of champagne, her eyes narrow on me. “There’s no way you two are together, I mean, did you have car trouble?” She bursts out laughing. “Killian you’re the nicest rockstar ever, did you pick her up?”

She used his first name.

She’s using him to play at her wedding.

She’s a thief and a monster, and I want to pull her hair and watch every tiny little fake blonde piece burn up in flames then roast marshmallows.

God, I’m hungry.

My stomach growls.

“Hey!” I point a finger at her. Killian immediately grips my waist, so I don’t fall face first into her. With my luck I’d knock her out and pass out snoring motor boating her boobs only to puke down them later.

Congratulations to the bride!

I laugh a bit at my own internal joke. Killian’s grip tightens on me. “I’ll have you know!” I wrap a firm arm around him and nearly die with how tight his body feels next to mine. Is he working out more?

I’m distracted for a few seconds before saying. “Ish totally possible! Oh, look.” I point at the lobby. “Theresh shway!”

Dustin clears his throat. “I think she means this way.”

“That’s what I said.” I lift my chin. Man, it’s getting harder to concentrate. “And I’ll have you know, we had shex—twice!” Why did I say twice? I can’t even hold up a steady hand right now! “And it wasn’t missionary!”

“Oh God,” Killian whispers under his breath.

“It was against a wall!” I jab a finger in her direction. “And we did sixty nine—”

“There it is,” Dustin says under his breath.

“And we LIKED ISH!”

“It. She means it.” Dustin corrects me again.

“Is it a crime to shex your fiancé? Huh? Huh?” I mean to say boyfriend, but fiancé just flows freely from my mouth.

Addison’s eyes shoot straight up. “I’m sorry, fiancé?”

“YESH!” I shout. “We’re going to have all the shex, get married and have beautiful babies together!”

Killian’s grip tightens on my waist even harder, and he turns his head. “We should probably get you to your room.”

“Oh!” Addison claps her hands. “I almost forgot, my sister, silly one that she, um, is…” She literally looks me up and down twice before shaking her head and ignoring me again. “She didn’t book her suite in time, and since she doesn’t answer her phone didn’t confirm her plus one for the weekend, so we put her in with Aunt Gertrude.”

Horror washes over me.

Absolute horror.

I think I’m sober now.

Aunt Gertrude chooses that moment to sashay out of the lobby with two martinis, one for each hand, I mean who wants lonely hands? Anyway, her short blue hair is impossible to miss. She’s sturdy in her tall black heels and black dress that somehow manages to stay on her despite its every effort to fall from each ninety-year-old shoulder.

She stops in front of us and announces, “I just love olives.”

And my day just got worse.


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