Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
"You mean stubborn," he corrects.
"You're not helping."
"I am stubborn, too." A'tam reaches out and grabs my hand, nearly causing me to drop my tea cup. "I still want you in my furs. I still think of you as mine."
That escalated quickly. My eyes widen and I look around, but no one's paying attention to us. They're too busy with the fish, and F'lor is telling a joke across the fire, Sessah at her side. Everyone's wrapped up in their story and I might as well be alone with A'tam. I look over at him and he's completely, utterly serious, his expression full of yearning.
And I want to say yes. So badly. I swallow hard. "What, like, just get up and go to your hut? Right now?"
I'm only half joking. I might actually do it, if he keeps looking at me with those intense eyes and that expression full of hot need. We could at least kiss, right? We could kiss and maybe I could stop him before things got too awful…
A'tam shakes his head. "Not my furs. D'see is staying in my hut."
Is she now? That's news to me. I jerk to my feet, letting his blanket fall to the ground. "You know what? I think I'm just going to head to bed," I say. "I'm really tired."
"B'shit," A'tam calls, moving to stand next to me. "Do not go. Let me explain."
"For the hundredth time, it's Bridget," I snap at him. "For a man that says he likes me a lot, you sure haven't bothered to learn my name."
And I storm away.
14
A'TAM
My female is completely and utterly impossible. Why is it every time I try to protect her, she pushes me away? Why is it that when I am kind to her, when I look out for her…she acts as if I am being ridiculous?
It ruins the evening for me. I do not want to sit around and listen to others laughing and chatting. I do not want to watch happy resonated pairs holding hands or sharing secrets. I want to be alone in my anger and frustration. So I get up and leave the fire, taking a long walk by the beach, even though it is very dark. I see things move in the rippling waves and stay far enough from the water's edge, like any wise hunter. I stare up at the sky, but the stars are hidden. I even go looking for the outcast clan—Juth and Pak—because it is something to do. I know if I head back to my furs, I will not be able to sleep. B'shit will haunt me every time I close my eyes.
But there are no footprints in the cold sand, and eventually I wander back to the encampment. I head in to see if B'shit is perhaps in her pottery cave, but it is silent and empty. The fire pit is dead, and the pots she has carefully resting atop the coals cracked into pieces. The sight of it makes me sad. She will be disappointed to see she has failed. I pick up one of the still-warm pieces and see that it has cracked clean down the middle. I have seen this before, back when my mother did her pottery, but I do not remember the cause. I wish I did. B'shit works so very hard on these. She is determined to succeed, and I wish I could help. I imagine how sad this must have made her. Batch after batch of her pottery ends up cracked or broken or turns back into mud. She is getting better, but it is not fast enough to suit her.
Maybe she is going to ask O'jek to help her.
The stab of jealousy I feel is intense, and I put the pottery back and leave the cave before I do something I regret. I think of B'shit and O'jek. My clans-brother keeps to himself, but even he has a soft spot for the females. If B'shit asked him, he would help her. She has a clever mind, so if anyone can make him smile, it would be her.
What if the competition makes them become great friends? What if B'shit gives up on me because I am with D'see? The thought makes me furious, and the last thing I want is to return to O'jek's hut and lie down on my furs across from him and listen to him snore with contentment. He sleeps as if he does not have a care in the world, while I stay awake and stew.
So I go to my old hut, my spirit brimming with frustration.
I do not scratch at the entrance to let D'see know I am coming in. Instead, I duck inside. All is quiet, and D'see is asleep. I move to her side and shake her. "Are you awake, D'see?"