Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Every doubt I had about coming home evaporates as I glance around, taking in their words. I’m where I belong… with my family.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
GAGE
Three Months Later
“You know what you need?” Kaylee asks as I stroll into the condo, dripping in sweat from my morning run.
“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
She ignores my sarcasm and hands me a bottle of water. Taking it, I give her a grateful smile and chug half of it down.
“To go out on a date.”
I choke on the liquid, and she laughs, making me glare her way. “The last thing I need is to go on a date. A part of my program is—”
“Staying away from relationships,” she finishes, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I know, but that’s only for a year, and it’s been over a year now. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself out there. When’s the last time you were with anyone?”
My thoughts go straight to Sadie. Her bleeding heart and broken soul. She was destroyed and damaged but still so strong. Strong enough to walk away from me after I did the worst thing I could do: push her away.
It was for the best because she deserved more than I could give her back then. Had she stayed, I might’ve brought her down with me. But that hasn’t stopped me from thinking about her over the past year and a half. Once I was drug-free and could think straight, I spoke to Pamela about her, about the guilt I felt for what I did to her.
She asked if I wanted to reach out and apologize, but I didn’t want to put her in that position, so instead, I had Easton do it for me. I told him to just make sure wherever she was, she was safe and taken care of. I didn’t want to know anything except that she wasn’t on the streets somewhere, and if she was, to make sure to get her off them. He got back to me a week later and said she moved to Virginia, was renting a home in a nice subdivision, and she looked good. Not happy, but okay.
“Gage?” Kaylee says, knocking me out of my thoughts. “It’s okay to find happiness.”
Her words take me back to the past, to Declan saying the same shit about Sadie. In another lifetime, I would’ve scooped her up and held her close, keeping her for myself. But I wasn’t capable of handling a woman like her with care. I think Kaylee and Declan are right… It’s time for me to find some happiness. But right now, the only thing I want to focus on is the band. The guys have had my back, and it’s my turn to have theirs.
“I know,” I tell her. “And it’ll happen when the time is right, but right now, the only happiness I’m after comes in the form of a drum kit.” I give her a wink and stalk off to take a shower. Today is the first day the guys and I are back in the studio writing. If all goes well, we’ll have our songs finalized in the next couple of weeks and then start recording. Our goal is to release the album this winter and tour next summer.
After taking a shower, I tell Braxton I’ll see him at the studio and then go by the cemetery. I haven’t been here since the day I OD’d, but with Sadie fresh on my mind, I figure it’s time. Since it’s been a while, I pick up flowers on my way for Tori, and at the last second, I grab two more small bouquets for Sadie’s babies. With her living in Virginia, I imagine she isn’t able to visit them the way she did during our time together.
After placing them into each of their holders, I have a seat in front of Tori. I can’t believe it’s been almost eight years. It’s crazy how fast time flies. One minute, I was kissing her at the beach, and the next, I was so low I almost ended my life.
“This is the first time I’ve visited you sober,” I say, hoping wherever she is, she can hear me. “I was lost for a while. The guilt over the way your life ended consumed me. But I know now that what happened wasn’t my fault. It was that piece of shit’s and your mother’s, and I’ll never forgive either of them.”
I run my fingers through the grass, tugging on a few strands absentmindedly as I gather my thoughts. “While I was in rehab, I thought a lot about you. About children and teenagers in the same situation as you. Scared and feeling like they’re alone in the world. For the past several years, instead of honoring your life, trying to right the wrong, I drowned in the injustice of the situation. But that’s going to change.