Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“I’m hiding,” I admit. After she contacted me, I spoke to Pamela, and even without her saying it, I knew it was time to go home. “I needed more time, but I’m ready to go back.”
I glance at her, and she smiles softly at me. “I thought you were going to make this hard on me. I even brought in the big guns.” She nods behind me, and when I look back, I find Kaylee standing there with glassy eyes.
“Come here, you.” I open my arms, and she rushes into my embrace. Over the years, since Tori died, we’ve remained in touch, despite her and Braxton parting ways for a while. And last year when we went on tour, and they reconnected, we grew close. Tori was her best friend, and she missed her like I did… like I do.
“I heard you got married.” Despite not texting or talking to anyone, they continued to send me pictures and messages to keep me updated. They were what kept me going during the hard days, knowing they were living their best life, happy and finding love.
“We did,” she gushes, hugging me tighter. “I miss you, Gage. We all do.”
“I miss you guys too. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long.”
“No, no apologizing. We’re just so happy to see you healthy. You look so good.” Kaylee squeezes my bicep playfully. “And you’re all muscular.”
I laugh. “Yeah, well, when I’m not spending my days getting high or playing music, I have a lot of time on my hands.”
“Speaking of which,” Kendall says. “Are you… planning to play music again?” I can hear it in her voice, the concern. Not for me, though. For her husband. He’s the reason she’s here. Because I’ve been gone for so long, and the band has refused to play a single chord or sing a single lyric without me.
“I’m going to try,” I tell her truthfully. “I can’t promise anything, but I’m going to come home and take it one day at a time.”
She smiles and nods. “Thank you. The guys have missed you so much.”
We hang out for a bit longer and chat, the girls catching me up on everyone, and then they take off after I assure them that I’ll be home for Thanksgiving.
I spend the day packing and getting my shit together. Since the apartment’s no longer available, I agree to stay with Kaylee and Braxton while I figure out my next move.
Two days later, I arrive at the Blackwoods for Thanksgiving. When I walk through the door, I’m met with hugs and warm greetings. I thank everyone, but notice Declan is nowhere to be found.
“He fell asleep on the couch,” Kendall says.
“Give me a few minutes,” I tell everyone, needing some time with my friend. I’m close with all the guys, but Declan and I have always had a different connection. Maybe it was because Braxton and Camden found the women they wanted to spend their lives with, leaving Declan and me to bachelor it out together—him with his woman out of reach, and mine… well, she was also out of my reach.
The day I woke up in the hospital and saw the look in his eyes, then learned he’s the reason I’m still alive, I’d never felt like more of a failure in my life. Had I not made it, he would’ve had to live with that guilt, and I promised myself I would never put someone I love in that position again.
“Am I dreaming?” Declan asks, his eyes fluttering open.
“As sweet as it is that you apparently dream about me…” I chuckle. “Nah, it’s me, in the flesh.”
“Where’s everyone?” he asks, glancing around.
“Giving us a minute.” I sit on the couch next to him. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stayed gone as long as I did, but I needed the time.”
“What made you come back?”
“Your wife.” I smile at him. “Congrats, by the way. Finally got the girl.”
“Kendall?”
“Yeah, she came and saw me. Told me it was time to come home.”
He smiles softly. “So where’ve you been? Why’d you stay away for so long?”
I drop back against the couch and turn my head to face him. “Where do I even begin?”
“How about at the beginning?”
And so, I do… I spend the next hour telling everyone where I’ve been and the journey I’ve been on to get here. Admitting that while I’m drug-free, I’m still scared as hell and unsure if I’ll be able to play again, let alone tour.
When I’m done, Declan puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “All that matters is that you’re here.”
“Agreed,” Braxton adds. “If the band doesn’t ever play another song again, we don’t give a fuck as long as you’re healthy. You are all that matters.”
“We’re so damn glad to have you back,” Camden says, hugging me. “The holidays wouldn’t have been the same without you.”