Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘What?’ she asks, incredulous.
‘We had some real interesting times, you and me.’
She’s silent, just staring at me with round eyes. ‘How the hell did our relationship survive all this?’
That gets my back right up, and my epic scowl must tell her so. ‘Because we were made for each other, that’s why. Because I loved you and you loved me. We got through so much, and more, so I know we can get through this.’
‘You were a slut.’
‘Was. That changed the second I clapped eyes on you.’
She sniffs, casually returning her attention to the screen. ‘Except the time you cheated on me.’
For the love of all things calm, someone help me out! I breathe in and out slowly, forcing back my barrage of blue language and the temptation to deliver one huge fuck. I’m not sure which one would be most suitable for sarcasm. The Punishment Fuck, maybe? The Sense? I’m pondering that with far too much energy for a man in my situation, just punishing myself as a result. I need to pull this back to the important stuff.
‘Let me tell you about the time I made an Ava éclair out of you.’ I settle a little, reliving that wonderful night. ‘I slathered you in chocolate and cream and licked it off to my heart’s content. You stripped for me. It was sexy as fuck but hilarious watching you trying to gain the upper hand.’
She looks up at me with a soft smile and a hint of sadness behind her eyes. She wants to remember so much, and I can see with perfect clarity that it’s killing her that she can’t, just as much as it’s killing me.
‘You’ve not heard the half of it, Ava,’ I tell her. ‘The things we’ve done, the times we’ve had. So many amazing memories.’
‘I know.’ Her hand reaches for my face and cups my cheek, smoothing down my bristle. ‘And even if I can’t remember them right now, I love hearing you tell our story.’ She smiles. ‘Most of it, anyway.’
I close my eyes and nuzzle a little into her palm, kissing the centre. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I feel like she’s falling for me all over again. For the most part, being with each other today has been so easy and natural. Even the silly squabbles are us. Her reactions to me, in every way, are perfectly Ava and perfectly us. I ask myself if I would be satisfied with only finding her love again. Would it be enough without her memories? Of course, I’d make it enough. But part of our connection is everything we’ve shared since we met. The things that made us stronger. But it isn’t just about the things that brought us closer and made us stronger. It’s not just about piecing all that together for her and for me. There’s one thing that she just has to remember. Or two things. Maddie and Jacob. I can’t let those memories fade, no matter how many more we’ll create. She has to have all of their years back. She just has to.
My phone rings and Ava reaches for it. Jacob’s FaceTiming me, and as Ava stares down at his gorgeous face on my screen, I don’t have the faintest idea what to do. I don’t want to upset my boy and I don’t want to upset Ava. I’ve spoken to the kids twice every day, but only when Ava has been in the shower.
‘How come I can see his face?’ she asks, and I stall, confused for a moment.
Then I remember that my girl isn’t just missing sixteen years of memories. She’s missing sixteen years of technology advancement. ‘It’s FaceTime. Like a video call.’
‘Oh.’ Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth. ‘You should answer,’ she says, handing me my ringing phone. ‘I want to see them.’
I’m stunned. Happy but wary. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’ She thrusts the phone at me. ‘Answer.’
‘I don’t want to upset them, Ava,’ I say, hating myself for it. If I protect my kids, I hurt Ava. I can’t win this one.
The phone rings off, and sad eyes glance up at my useless form. ‘Please.’ She’s begging, and it’s like a knife through my heart. ‘I need to see them. To speak to them.’ She swallows, shaking her head to herself. I know there’s a part of her missing so much more than her memories and me. She’s spent countless hours in their bedrooms, just lying on their beds, hoping it’ll trigger something. Maybe I was wrong to send them away. ‘It’s an ache in here.’ Reaching up to her chest, she flattens her palm over her heart, and her wedding ring sparkles at me. ‘Today has been wonderful, and it would finish it off perfectly if I could see them.’
My throat clogs with guilt, sadness, and too many other emotions to swallow down at once. How can I refuse her? I take the phone from her hand and dial Jacob, forcing back any signs of apprehension. I sit back on the couch and encourage Ava to come close as it rings and connects. And then he’s there. My boy. His hair is damp and he’s in a wetsuit. ‘Hey, buddy.’