Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Ava slowly turns, and I see the river of tears pouring down her distraught, beautiful face. ‘I want to do it all. All those things. I want to do them all. I want my life back. With you. With the kids.’ Her voice is becoming distressed, and she takes the side of the worktop to hold herself up.
I’m across the kitchen and hugging her to me before I have a chance to think, letting her cry her despair into my T-shirt. My own tears tumble into her hair, our reality too much for both of us. All I can do is hold her. Be there for her. Love her. And all she can do is depend on me for . . . everything.
‘Will you do something for me?’ she whispers into the material of my T-shirt.
Stupid question. ‘Anything.’
‘Will you show me our wedding pictures again? Will you tell me who all the people are?’
I stall answering, but only because I don’t know if I could take her breaking down some more. Seeing her so hopeless and fraught is soul crushing. ‘Sure,’ I answer, knowing I can’t deny her that. ‘Want to do it now?’
She fists the material of my T-shirt, breathing in as she looks up at me. Her eyes. Her gorgeous dark brown eyes are welling, and I reach up to wipe under them. ‘Please.’
‘Come on.’ I lift her from her feet and gently help her get her legs around my waist. ‘Comfy?’
Her answer is her face in my neck and her arms circling my shoulders tightly.
Walking us to the study, I place her down on the couch and plump a cushion for her, helping her to get comfortable. Her small smile of thanks should please me. It doesn’t. It hurts, because she should never have to thank me for being her husband.
I wander over to fetch the laptop and settle beside her, whirling my fingertip across the mouse pad. The screen comes to life, and I click the file for our wedding shots. A massive smile immediately spreads wide across my face. ‘Look how beautiful you are.’ So much fucking lace, I didn’t know whether to worship her or rip it all off. ‘Do you know how hard it was for me to keep myself under control that day?’
‘Well, no, since I can’t remember a stupid . . . wait, are those handcuffs around our wrists?’ Edging forward in her seat, she gets up close and personal with the screen. ‘They are. They’re bloody handcuffs!’
I smile, smug. ‘Your mother wasn’t best pleased.’
Ava snorts, obviously imagining Elizabeth’s reaction. ‘I can’t believe you handcuffed me on our wedding day.’
‘Believe it.’ I point to the screen. ‘Hard evidence right there.’
She’s silent for a moment, observing as she relaxes into my side, her palm lying on my bicep. ‘Just tell me one thing.’
‘What?’
‘Are you older than my mother?’ She looks up at me seriously.
Is she fucking kidding me? If I didn’t have a computer on my lap and her tucked into my side, I’d drop to the carpet and smash out fifty press-ups. Older than her mother? ‘Do I look older than your fucking mother?’ The nerve. I feel a stressed sweat coming on. How old does she think I am?
‘Well, Mum’s early forties. I’m guessing you’re there or thereabouts.’
It takes me a few seconds to process her words, and then I realise . . . ‘Ava, your mother is sixty.’ Relief sends me dizzy. In her head, her parents are the same age they were in her last memory, and her last memory was when she was in her early twenties. ‘You’re not in your early twenties any more, baby.’
‘Oh yeah,’ she whispers, looking down at her stomach, remembering the stretch marks that tell her she’s a mother, then to the boobs she’s clearly not happy with.
‘Look.’ I gently nudge her with my elbow before she falls into despondency, pointing at the screen. ‘You know who that is.’
‘Kate. She looks a bit miserable.’
Ava’s right. She looks like she’s licking piss off a stinging nettle. Then I notice Dan and Sam in the background. And I remember. ‘She and Sam weren’t talking,’ I tell her.
‘Sam?’ she questions, but then quickly holds up her hand to halt my explanation. ‘Kate’s boyfriend!’ She sounds almost excited. ‘Kate told me all about him in the hospital. I cannot believe she’s pregnant!’
‘That’s right.’ I smile down at her gleaming eyes and then continue to walk her through all the guests at our wedding. It’s a lot to absorb, but she seems to take it in her stride.
‘And this is Georgia,’ I continue when we’re past the wedding shots.
‘Raya’s and Drew’s daughter?’
‘Drew’s her father, yes. He’s recently asked Raya to marry him. But Georgia’s mother’s name is Coral.’ I pause a beat, maybe thinking the name might spike something. Nothing. Her face is blank. ‘She tricked Drew into getting her pregnant because she was in love with me and tried to pass the baby off as mine.’ I quickly spit it all out and smile awkwardly when Ava swings disbelieving eyes onto me.