Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“Oh my God. I’m sorry.” Mom covers her face and turns. I don’t need to see Evan’s face to know he’s in shock…that he’s devastated. But he doesn’t move, doesn’t fucking move, just sitting there with my goddamn mom in the room while he’s half-naked and in pup gear.
“Christ, Evan, go to the bedroom!” I say, my words coming out sharper than I mean them to.
He’s all action then, shoving from the couch and running to the bedroom, his door slamming behind him, with almost the same strength as my heart beating against my chest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see much. I mean…I saw but…” Mom’s stare holds mine. “I don’t understand, Frankie. What…what was that?”
Of course, she wouldn’t understand, and how can I explain it to her? It’s not like she’s into any kind of kink, or hell, likely heard most of it. How do you explain to someone that your boyfriend likes to pretend to be a puppy? That it puts him in a different headspace where he can forget about everything else? How do I tell my mom that I like it? That I love taking care of my pup? That it does something for me that I don’t understand? How do I do all that right after finding out that my abusive father is dead while we’re still trying to figure out how I feel or should feel about it?
“Is that…is this something you guys do? Is it a sex thing? He’s dressed as a dog. Do you…” The questions are there, the worry.
“No, Christ, Mom. It’s not about bestiality or anything weird like that. Really?”
“I don’t know what to think. I’m a little confused.”
“I don’t either.” Why in the hell would Evan have fallen asleep like that when he knew I was with my mom? When he knew we were having dinner together in Midtown and we could come home any minute?
Why didn’t I think to warn him just in case?
My head is a mess with too many thoughts to concentrate on just one—any one. The sperm donor, Mom, Evan, me. “I’ll take you home. We’ll talk on the way. Let me tell Evan.”
There’s a strange sort of feeling making my chest tight—sadness mixed with fear and confusion. Christ, what in the hell must my mom think?
He’s dead…the man who hurt her is dead.
My father is dead.
Is this something you guys do? Is it a sex thing? He’s dressed as a dog…Do you…
The second I’m with Evan, closed behind his bedroom door, he says, “Oh God, Frankie. I’m so sorry. I just…”
I shake my head, close my eyes, try to figure out what to focus on, who to focus on…
He’s dressed as a dog…Do you…
“I can’t do this right now, talk about it, I mean. I just…my mom saw you, Evan. And…” I think about what we’d come here to discuss, about my dad. “I have to deal with one thing at a time. I can’t talk about this now. I’m going to bring my mom home and I’ll be back.”
“Frankie, I—”
“Please, Ev. Not right now. I just, can’t. I’ll be back, okay?”
He nods, and without another word, I walk away.
31
Evan
I walk along the sidewalk.
It’s been at least fifteen minutes since I hurried out of the condo, my tail between my legs…though not in the way I would have preferred.
I can’t stop wiping the backs of my hands under my eyes and sniffling as I try to fight back the tears.
I’m still blushing from when Frankie and his mom walked in on me.
It’s all my fault.
I shouldn’t have gotten lost in my play time. It just felt so good and right, and I was having such a good time being totally lost in my puppy space.
Amazing how I can go from feeling so wonderful, letting go of all my stress and worries, to having all that ripped out from under me in a moment.
I went from feeling free and like my true self to being ashamed and embarrassed.
Since I started walking from Metropolis, I haven’t been paying much attention to where I’ve been heading, but I realize I’m coming up on Otterly.
I don’t figure it’s as much of a coincidence as it is that on some level, like with the puppy hood, part of me has been pulling me here.
I don’t fight my impulse to head there, but I’m debating about if I’ll bother going inside when I get to the Eagle and see the Otterly storefront and the little otter cartoon character on the window.
I figure I can go in and maybe pretend to look around.
It’d be nice to see Z if he’s working this evening. I haven’t seen him since he offered to take me to that puppy event at the Eagle.
Although, I’m not sure if I should be talking to anyone right now…not while I’m feeling so down.