Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Of course, I obsessed over the idea and because I was me, I worried about my son worrying about me. I decided to maturely confront Jake at breakfast the next day. I also planned to double and triple check that he was physically okay.
“Geez, Dad. Yes, I’m fine,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes as he speared a syrupy waffle bite. “I swear. You don’t have to stay here or follow me to the next game. I’m good.”
“Okay.” I watched him over my coffee cup then set it down without taking a sip and blurted, “Your mom thinks you worry about me. Is that true?”
Jake grinned as he chewed. “A little. It’s only natural to worry about each other. It’s always been me and you, Dad.”
“Hmm. I think it’s my job to do the worrying.”
He shrugged and took another bite. “I don’t think it’s a job. It’s just…I don’t know. You’re my OG teammate.”
“OG?”
“Original gangster,” he translated with a laugh. “Why are you asking me that anyway? You seem like you’re doing okay. Are you?”
“Sure. Your concussion was…” I licked my lips and sighed. Fuck it. “It’s been a rough week.”
“Dad, I told you a million and ten times that I’m fine.” Jake’s gaze was kind, though laced with the expected trace of exasperation.
“I believe you, but I can’t help thinking of worst-case scenarios.”
Another eye roll.
“I didn’t die, and I barely have a scratch. My agent says the whole past week was a blessing in disguise. I got media attention ’cause Smitty was there rooting on his old team, then the concussion, and…I had two awesome games leading up to it. He thinks this is my last season in Syracuse. We’ll see,” he singsonged.
“That was a great goal in the first period last night too.” It was a not-so-subtle attempt to steer conversation to neutral territory and it worked. I didn’t want him to get his hopes up and…yep, I was worrying again.
“Right?” Jake beamed and practically levitated off his seat as he launched into a play-by-play ESPN-style. “I could hear Smitty in my head, ‘Make him think you’re dumping it. Fake him out. Keep your stick alive.’ It worked.”
“That’s cool.”
He cleared his plate and pushed it aside, giving me his undivided attention. “I kind of thought Smitty would be there last night. Or do the Hawks have a game this weekend?”
“Uh…I don’t know.” I squirmed uncomfortably.
Jake aimed a puzzled half smile my way. “What’s wrong?”
Shit. If I said nothing, he’d worry and I’d be lying. Could I tell him I had a crush on Smitty without outing him? Maybe. I didn’t know.
This felt…weird.
“Nothing. I…” My hands trembled. I worried my bottom lip till it felt chapped and torn and—
Jake covered my hands with his larger ones and held on as if knowing I needed this lifeline. “It’s okay by me. I don’t know if you need to hear that, but…it’s there if you do.”
A tear leaked from the corner of my eye and spilled over my cheek. I swiped at it and stared out the window at parked cars and the dirty snow drifts melting under the “All you can eat for $5.99” sign.
“I just…I don’t want to do anything that jeopardizes your future.”
“You never have.”
I scoffed. “I did some dumb things when I was younger and—”
“You told me all that. You even told my agent. It’s not an issue.” He squeezed my hand. “Look, don’t get mad, but Mom gave me a heads-up. She says we always talk around stuff and this is important. I know you want to protect me, but it’s not necessary. You always tell me that you want me to be happy. That goes both ways. So if you met someone and you like him, I bet I’ll like him too. Even if his name is Smitty Paluchek.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And don’t worry about press stuff. That’s my agent’s job. He has people to handle weird things like my dad falling for my former rival.”
I didn’t bother hiding the tears now. I smiled through them, though, using the napkin Jake handed over to dab at my eyes.
“I think I really needed to hear that.”
“Sorry. I should have said it sooner.” Jake studied the saltshaker for a long moment, sighing heavily. “Mom met Eric ages ago. I remember him coming by all the time, and I remember the wedding. I always liked him ’cause he was into hockey, and he was respectful of us. Me and you. I didn’t want him to try to be my dad. I already had the best dad in the world.”
“Thanks.”
“But…I was always a little afraid of you meeting someone,” he continued.
I frowned. “You were? Why?”
“I didn’t want to share you. Not you. You’re mine. No one else’s. Maybe it’s normal for a kid to feel that way, but I’m not a kid anymore. I’m old enough to know that I’m not going to lose you.”