Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79621 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
21
BRYSON
The right thing to do isn’t always the easy thing. At least that was what I told myself.
I’d been honest about my feelings and my fears. I couldn’t be Smitty’s casual lover or his fuck-buddy. Not anymore. I was too invested. If he stayed and if Jake’s star kept rising, he’d have to be equally invested. He had to be sure he’d never regret me. We’d ventured outside of Elmwood and it was…scary.
Smitty wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. He wasn’t even out yet.
And that was okay. If he came out, it shouldn’t be because of me. And if he stayed in Elmwood, he’d stay for himself. Letting go was the right thing to do.
It just…sucked.
I went to the office at dawn the following morning and ran into JC on the corner of Main Street.
“Bonjour. Comment vas-tu?”
This was what happened when you told a French-Canadian wise guy you took French for four years in high school. “Bien.”
“What are you doing out so early? No one wants real estate at—” JC checked his watch. “Five thirty in zee morning.”
“I need to handle some scheduling before I head out for Jake’s next game.” I moved around the larger man, signaling I was in a hurry.
JC arched a brow at my uncharacteristic show of impatience. “I’m sorry about the concussion. I heard he was out of the hospital very fast. That can be worrisome, but he’s all right, oui?”
“Yeah.”
“And you?” He squinted. “You don’t look so good. Maybe you need rest.”
“Thanks,” I huffed. “See you later.”
“Bryson?” JC waited till I turned, continuing, “He’s okay. Take care of yourself too.”
I was sure he’d add a teasing remark about not getting any younger, but his sincerity was evident. I nodded in acknowledgment and waved.
I was fine.
Perfectly fine.
I rearranged my schedule and reserved flights and hotels to Utica and Syracuse, filling my secretary in on my way out the door.
Tracy furrowed her brow. “Are you okay? Did something happen with Jake?”
“No, he’s doing well. Everything is okay,” I lied.
She didn’t ask, but the “Why are you taking a week off out of the blue?” was plain as day in her concerned expression.
“All right, Boss. Tell Jake to kick ass and take names later. We’ll be rooting for him.”
I hopped a plane to Upstate New York, met my ex-wife at the rink, and officially resumed my old life.
I worked from hotel rooms, set up meetings for the following week, and did my best to focus on the two things I knew well—work and my son. I cheered for the Scorpions in Utica and again in Syracuse, fighting my nerves at Jake’s return to the ice.
And wishing Smitty was with me.
No one else in that arena seemed concerned that something might go wrong. They cheered like maniacs as Jake skated onto the ice and lost their minds when he scored not one, but two goals…as if nothing had ever happened.
Why did everything feel different to me?
Any casual observer who’d missed the past six months of my life wouldn’t have noticed anything different about me. I looked the same, I acted the same, but I was irrevocably changed.
Smitty had changed me. And I missed him with a voracity that rattled me to my core.
I missed him in the quiet moments. I missed the brush of his fingers, his crooked smile, his wolfish expression that always promised trouble. I missed the conundrum of him. That complex, interesting man who somehow wanted me. I missed touching him, talking to him. I hadn’t realized how empty my days were until I’d had to fill them on my own again. Or had to listen to other people’s adventures.
“…took a catamaran to St. Bart’s. So pretty, but we’ve been there dozens of times. In this crappy winter weather, I’m dreaming of tropical islands twenty-four-seven,” Piper said, fussing with her faux-fur hat as we walked toward the players’ entrance.
Her ultra-luxe winter ensemble was a bit much, but whatever floated her boat, I supposed, nodding to another parent from the team.
“I bet.”
“You should think about taking a vacation, Bry.”
I stifled an incredulous huff. “During hockey season?”
Piper’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, but when you say it like that, I feel guilty I wasn’t at that game last week.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. There’s not much you could have done,” I replied…for the fiftieth time. “And after today’s performance, Jake will pretend it was a mere bump on the head.”
“He’s so you.”
I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”
“You always say nothing’s wrong. Everything’s great. No need to worry.”
“I was definitely worried, Piper. I didn’t see the point in both of us being upset.”
She regarded me curiously. “I appreciate that, but I also think you take on an entire burden that could have been shared.”
“You weren’t here,” I reminded her. “I’m not criticizing you. I’m just—”