Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“This is a look in the mirror and for you to understand why you’ve been behaving badly.” He pressed his hands together as if praying. “Not because you stripped off your clothes, but you didn’t strip off your ego. You didn’t strip off the layers of pain. You held onto anger because it was easier than letting go. You have been dealing with peasants, when you are not only the Queen but run the entire queendom. You fell asleep and forgot who you were. WAKE THE FUCK UP!” More tears budded in her eyes and she shook her head. Her chest heaved so hard, it hurt. “Your body is sacred, my Love. You are Q.L. for a reason. Y’all are rare, baby… It’s a compliment. Women like you just aren’t born every day. When I speak about you exuding sex, and use the word lust to define you, I am not just talking about your body and sensuality. I am talking about people lusting to be like you, with you, or steal what you have. Your essence. Your inner-beauty. Lust isn’t always just about sex. It’s about wanting what someone has, and wanting it so badly, that they can taste it. You are special. Don’t you realize that?”
She smiled and nodded, then wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“Strangers ask you for help, younger women look up to you, and predators seek to consume and destroy you. You are the light! Light attracts light, and it attracts darkness, too. The sins of the father… Lennox is the first man who had romantic feelings for you that didn’t remind you of your father in some way. That scared you. You didn’t recognize him. He felt unfamiliar. That made you uncomfortable. He was the exact opposite of what you’d seen, and what you were used to. You knew deep down that that big Optimus Prime Megatron Transformer built mothafucka wanted to fuck you, be with you, and just love you,” She fought a chuckle in between her tears, and he smiled back at her. “He was crazy about you way back then, and even more so now.” He spoke so softly…
The man glanced at his Rolex, then flopped back in his chair, grabbed his glass, and brought it to his lips, his wine half gone. They didn’t speak for several seconds. He took another taste and set the glass down.
“Your father was a habitual and pathological liar. He couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and his mouth off of other women’s pussies. As a young lady, your mother, though bright and capable, didn’t understand men well, so she was an easy target. True or false?”
“I’d say true.”
“One word only, baby. One word.” The instrumental version of Mac Miller’s, ‘Desperado’ started to play, the guitar riff wickedly sexy and classic. She had to hand it to the man—he had great musical tastes. It helped her, in some strange way, from feeling even worse than she already did. “Your mother is also intelligent, and intuitive, like you. She’s also unpleasant. Nadia, I haven’t spoken to your mother, obviously, but I’d venture to say she suffers from depression. When she looks at you, she sees herself and weeps! She hates that you hurt deep inside. Your mother doesn’t show emotion in front of you, does she?”
“No.”
“Well, I have a secret to tell you. You can choose to believe me or not, but sometimes, when she’s alone, mark my words, the tears flow all night long. Some nights that woman cries herself to sleep.”
Nadia hung her head and fought tears like her life depended on it. Her stomach caved and her heart kept seizing up. It hurt so bad… so very, very bad.
“She has closed herself off from love. She wants no parts of it, because it’s too excruciating for her to deal with. Your mother was fucked up in the head due to her childhood and instead of dealing with it, she pretended the emotions she felt were stupid, and she buried those emotions somewhere in an imaginary field a long time ago. When she expressed her feelings in the past, they were used against her. Like when she told your father that she loved him…”
Nadia sat up, forcing herself to face the music. She blinked back tears, closing her eyes for a brief moment and promising to get through this. How this man knew such things from reading a damn email and looking at her for a few seconds on a camera was beyond her, but Lennox had warned her… Told her that the man was spooky, and he knew shit he shouldn’t.
“And then she turned around and expected her son and daughter to do the same. Cut off your emotions. That was unfair of her. That was abusive. That was neglectful. The Creator gave us feelings for a reason, Nadia. They are not pointless. They are not useless. They are not stupid. They are to be acknowledged, explored, controlled and understood. FEELINGS MAKE US HUMAN. She trusted no fucking body because of past betrayals. Now, that brings us to the final frontier of this session. In your email, you specifically stated that you want to end the cycle. The family curse, as you called it. You need to speak to your mother, and do so with confidence. Now, you are free to speak, Queen.” He grabbed his water this time, and took a small sip.