Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“Yes.”
“This competed with a trauma you endured, but you had the fantasy before what happened to you. What happened was, the traumatic experience made you think it was bad. It’s not. It’s a fairly common fantasy for women to want to be overpowered sexually, but society makes you feel like there is something wrong with you for wanting it. Craving it. You love it when Lennox pins you down. Fucks you hard, sometimes even choking you. You have intertwined potency, virility, a touch of violence, and strength with masculinity. It’s not right or wrong. It simply IS.” He was quiet for a moment, as if allowing her to absorb his words. “If you voluntarily allow a man to make you submit in the bedroom when you are not the submissive sort, in some strange way, you believe you are getting your power back, and that turns you on a great deal. It’s a slap in the face to Daddy, right?”
Her chest tightened and a burning in her heart felt like a slow, horrible burn.
“Nadia, I need for you to not run and hide within yourself. I know what I’m saying is true about you. You know it, too. You struggle with shame and guilt though. I’ll repeat it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be dominated in bed by an alpha male, or any man for that matter. Strong women still want to feel like women, no matter how robust they believe themselves to be.”
“Lennox I would consider an alpha, from the way you defined it.” He nodded in agreement and sat up. “I’m afraid we’ll bump heads a lot because of that. We have minor power struggles from time to time. I don’t want that. What’s your advice?”
“There’s a stereotype that alpha women can’t have alpha mates, or that alpha women can’t be feminine. There’s also this thought process that alpha men can’t handle an alpha woman. That’s not true. Just don’t try to rule over your man. The key is balance.” She nodded in agreement as he made his hands like scales. “You’re a resilient, strong woman who is about to marry a resilient, strong man. You listen to him though, or at least you try. I imagine you try and pick your battles. Just keep doing that. When Lennox is really pissed off about something you’ve done, don’t try to get in his face, argue, things like that. Give him some space, so y’all can talk calmly. He should do the same for you.
“For instance, I wouldn’t classify my wife as necessarily having an alpha woman, or alpha-dominant personality. She’s somewhere in the middle, but she is definitely not someone that I or anyone else can walk all over, either. Every now and again, we bump heads, too. The best marriages aren’t perfect, Nadia, and occasional disagreements with your mate are normal and natural. It’s how you deal with those disagreements that set you apart and determine if your union will last. It’s all about give and take, and as long as you both know that you have each other’s back and each other’s best interests at heart, you should be fine.”
“Yes, sir. I understand. Thank you.”
“As we move along here, I am going in a different direction. We’ve established the type of woman you are, what you want, and who Lennox is. Now, I am going deeper. What that means is, I use my education and observation skills to pick up your energy and figure out what you need to hear so you get your life back on track. I’m going to say a lot of shit you’re not going to like. It’s going to be disrespectful and highly offensive, and no fucks will be given. What I said earlier wasn’t shit compared to this. Regardless, when I ask you a question, I need one word answers, and one word answers only. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“There’s that Southern hospitality.” He smirked. “Aren’t you just lovely? Here we go…” He zoomed the camera onto his face, offering a cold stare. “Let’s start with Nadia, the child… Your mother ignored your emotional desires, but did take care of your basic needs. You feel like you owe her due to this, but you resent her, too. Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
“Your father ignored you by abandoning you and your mother, and then when he was around, he spent the majority of that time chastising you and degrading you, in order to pump himself up and feel better about what a fucked-up individual he was. He was derelict in his duties. Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
“He was a stupid motherfucker who thought himself smarter than everyone else, and gassed his own self up. He had a little charm, a couple coins to rub together, and thought he was the man. He created a whole fucking human being, a female soul, and named her Nadia. Nadia is a name that means hope. That’s all he gave you—false hope. He left his baby girl out here on her fucking own with a damaged woman he’d lied to and tricked. Bitter baby mama. Yes or fucking no?”