Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“Do you think Lennox is a sex addict? Did you diagnose him?”
Saint shrugged and tapped ashes into the ashtray. “Lennox isn’t a sex addict, but I would classify him as borderline, and I told him such. When being observed and scored, he had more self-control and discipline than most sex addicts possess, but he still used sex as an insalubrious tool. He was still using sex to self-medicate for an extensive period of time at one point in his life. That’s why I am mentioning all of this to you.” She nodded in understanding. “I taught him how to control his impulses and stop sleeping with women he didn’t want to have a future with. Women get hooked on him, Q.L.s included. He’s good in bed, right? He fucks you seven ways to Sunday?”
She grinned and turned away, hearing his deep, guttural laugh. “Right… because he knows his way around a woman’s body, and he respects you. He wants you to always feel safe, loved, and adored, even when his dick is lodged down your throat and he’s shooting cum at your uvula like some water-gun game at a fucking carnival.”
Her heart quickened. Somehow, he was roaming the aisles of her mind. A part of her wanted to leave the session, while another part was too intrigued to do such a thing. Saint’s eyes hooded as he leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk. He looked smug. Arrogant. Lovely. All she saw after a while were the bottoms of what were probably very expensive dress shoes.
“Will I be a good wife?”
“I don’t know, will you?” he asked with a smirk. “That’s a choice, baby girl. Look, your fiancé likes you because of all the reasons I have mentioned, and because you are like his mother, Queen Nadia. Your personality and some of your likes and dislikes are even similar to hers. You captivate him.”
She was enthralled by the way he spoke, and his body language. He spoke with his hands and eyes. It was obvious he’d done this so many times, he had it down pat.
“How would you describe the way you view sex as a whole, Nadia?”
“Well, I view sex as ordinary as brushing my teeth, or going to the post office. Despite my profession, well, past profession, it doesn’t define me. It’s an enjoyable part of my life, but not my focus all the time. To me, the human body is natural, and I have autonomy over my own body.”
He leaned back, crossed his leg, and chapelled his hands. “In other words, you are capable of seeing sex and intimacy in a healthy way, versus just for commerce.”
“Exactly.”
He glanced at his computer, then looked back at her. “You explained in your email that you were an OnlyFans model, as well as an exotic dancer, correct?”
“Yes, that’s right. Now I’m back in law school though. I retired.”
“You retired publicly, but not privately.”
“No, I don’t give any private tours, so to speak.”
“That’s not what I mean. Your entire childhood was spent trying to get people you loved to look at you. See you. Notice you. Pay attention to you. Not for ego, but for safety.” She swallowed. “It is a part of you.” Mac Miller’s, ‘Fight the Feeling,’ the instrumental version featuring Kendrick Lamar, played as he spoke. He’s a Mac Miller and Kendrick Lamar fan, too? Interesting. “You thought you were taking control of the situation, and any traumas that happened due to the men in your life you believed you could corral those horrors, and force men to submit to you. True or false?”
“True.”
“Yes, men paid money to see your body, but really, they gained more than you ever could. They were still using you, baby.” Her eyes welled with tears. “You were nothin’ more to them than a wet, soft hole to cum on, cum in, or cum to, as they watched you on the pole, or their computer screen. That’s why you’re still unhealed, Queen, but you’ve improved… because it’s in your nature to never stay stuck. Lust Queens are resilient. You are constantly looking for solutions. That’s why you reached out to me. When you look at the men who want to see you shake your ass, you don’t actually see them—you see someone else. Now, we’ve come full circle. You were looking for your daddy…” She sighed, then crossed her legs and arms, holding herself tight.
“And that was the problem. You saw Daddy in all of them, and that made you hate your customers even more. You hate weak men. Lying men. Begging men. You’re attracted to men who know what they want in life, and how to get it. You like aggressive men. Not so aggressive that they try to define you, or control and rule over you, but aggressive where they mean what they say, and they show and prove. Physical strength. Intelligence. Reliability. This probably plays into even how you get turned on sexually. Fantasies… Say it, baby… You want to be taken.”