The Problem With Pretending Read Online Emma Hart

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 126850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 634(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 423(@300wpm)
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Wine and carbs. To drown my misery in.

The past week had been the most surreal experience, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to fully process everything that had happened or the feelings I was feeling.

In a weird way, I was kind of glad to be home. Sure, it was quiet, and I was alone, but it gave me a day to decompress tomorrow before I had to get back to real life.

In other words, I had a full day to talk myself both into and out of seeing William again.

I wasn’t sure if never seeing him again was an option.

He’d been insistent in the airport, and honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking about his words.

The way he’d promised me he wasn’t going to let me go again…

I sighed again and picked my phone back up, grabbing the remote at the same time so I could turn on the television and get some background noise here. I didn’t care what was on the TV, just that it was something to break the silence.

Granny had responded, at least.

GRANNY: Your boyfriend is miserable. He ruined my dinner.

ME: He’s not technically my boyfriend.

GRANNY: I don’t care. He’s miserable. Please declare your undying love for him as soon as possible.

ME: It was a safe journey home, thank you for asking, and I’ve ordered Indian food for dinner because Amber is at her parents’. Let me know when you’re home and we’ll have dinner.

GRANNY: Tuesday. And I want to see you, because we need to talk.

ME: …I change my mind. I’m busy Tuesday.

GRANNY: I expect you at one for lunch.

ME: Make it two. I have a meeting at school in the morning.

GRANNY: I can compromise. I’ll tell your boyfriend to text you so you don’t keep bothering me.

ME: I’m so glad you think my texting you to let you know I’m safe is bothering you. I shan’t bother again.

GRANNY: Make sure you don’t.

I shook my head and backed out of that chain to see Amber asking why I was home early. I sent her a shortened version of the events of the day, confirmed she was at her mum’s, and told her she owed me a pint of milk for not having any food in the house.

All that happened in time for William to reply to me. Finally.

WILLIAM: How was your flight?

ME: Fifty minutes of a screaming baby, an angry old man, and dead headphones.

WILLIAM: So about the usual, then.

ME: You could say that. I hope Granny isn’t causing too much trouble.

WILLIAM: Keep hoping.

I laughed.

WILLIAM: She’s trying to convince me to propose to you, by the way, but she’s requested a summer wedding. Apparently, the snow isn’t good for her arthritis.

ME: She doesn’t have arthritis.

WILLIAM: I’ll be sure to mention it.

ME: And we’re not getting married.

WILLIAM: …That’s what you said about not speaking to me again when you left Scotland, and here we are. Speaking.

ME: I can arrange that.

WILLIAM: No, you can’t. Your grandmother is here, and very much supports this fake relationship. I’ll get your address and show up on your doorstep in the pouring rain with flowers so I can declare my undying love for you.

ME: I would really prefer if you didn’t. My neighbours are extremely nosy. They’re the reason we don’t have a neighbourhood watch. They are it.

WILLIAM: What about your back door?

ME: I’ll get a guard dog.

WILLIAM: I like dogs.

ME: You’re like one. Even down to the bone you just won’t let go of.

WILLIAM: No. I told you I wasn’t letting you go again, Grace. I meant it.

ME: Who can tell with your dreadful communication?

WILLIAM: In my defence, it’s not WHAT I say that’s the problem. It’s the things I don’t say.

ME: That’s fair. When do you get back to Oxleigh?

WILLIAM: Why? Do you miss me?

Yes.

ME: No. Why would I miss you?

WILLIAM: Because I’m hilarious, handsome, and I don’t snore.

ME: Humble, too. An admirable quality.

WILLIAM: Well, nobody else up here is tooting my horn. I’ll have to do it myself.

ME: …There are so many ways to take that.

WILLIAM: I knew you missed me.

ME: I just wanted to know when you might show up at my door so I can make sure I’m not in.

WILLIAM: What if I don’t tell you?

ME: Then I’ll just ask your mum.

WILLIAM: Fine. Wednesday. I land in the afternoon, but since I don’t have your address, I can’t show up at your door.

ME: Thank goodness for small mercies.

WILLIAM: You’re not getting away with it, Grace. You had your chance at the airport, and you declared that I won bingo. You know what that means.

ME: That was a momentary lapse in judgement.

WILLIAM: If you say so.

ME: It was!!!

WILLIAM: You’re so stubborn.

ME: I think it’s one of my better qualities.

WILLIAM: Certainly beats your snoring.

ME: I don’t snore!

WILLIAM: Darling, I’ve slept next to you for the last week. You absolutely do snore, even though I said you don’t.


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