Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
I hadn’t told him I got kicked out of my apartment. I was ashamed and didn’t want the offer of charity again. So, he didn’t know I was living here yet. I really hoped that by some miracle, they would stay away for as long as possible this summer. I doubted they would appreciate getting woken up by Bea several times in the middle of the night anyway. Truthfully, though, the real reason I didn’t want to see him was simply that it would be too painful.
***
Almost a month passed with no sign of Justin and Jade. I was finally getting acclimated to life on the island again.
Roger ended up assembling that crib for me. It was white, and I’d bought a bedding set online with the remainder of my gift card. Roger and I were becoming friendly. Knowing that it wasn’t easy for me to leave the house, he’d occasionally bring me coffee or fresh seafood from the dock. Even though I sensed he might be attracted to me, he wasn’t making any moves, which was a good thing, because I was certainly in no position to be dating anyone.
Bea was going through a rough patch. She was colicky and still not sleeping much. It didn’t matter how much I fed her, she always wanted more. When I did manage to leave the house, I took her everywhere with me, to the market, to doctor appointments. I hadn’t been out alone since the day she was born. It was just the two of us. I was fine with that. The only times sadness would creep in tended to be late at night when I was most tired and worn out from the day.
One such evening, rain was pelting my bedroom window. Bea was screaming and crying. She’d drained my breasts of milk yet wouldn’t take a bottle. Starting to see stars from fatigue, I just wanted to sleep so badly. I broke out in tears. It felt like this type of torture would be suitable for prison inmates. How was I going to continue to live on no sleep? How would I ever go back to work, and who could possibly take care of her the way I did? A feeling of helplessness consumed me as thunder rolled in the distance. What if we lost power? How would I change her diaper in the dark? It dawned on me that we didn’t even have any candles. A minor panic attack started to brew within me. Deciding to head downstairs, I slowly descended the steps as I held onto Bea carefully.
A half-hour later, my emotions had only gotten worse. My nipples were sore and cracked. Bea was still colicky in my arms. The front door rattled, and full on panic ensued. A rush of adrenaline hit as I frantically reached into my pocket for Justin’s pocketknife. I made sure I wore pajamas with pockets for that very reason.
Someone was breaking into the house.
It occurred to me that my cell phone was upstairs. Bea was screaming, so we couldn’t even hide. The door was shaking again.
“Damn key,” I heard him say as the door opened.
His eyes bugged out of his head as he caught sight of me. Bea was hanging off my boob. My hair was disheveled, and I was stiffly pointing his own knife at him.
“Justin.”
CHAPTER 11
He turned his head away from me. “What the fuck, Amelia. Put down the knife and cover your tit.”
His surprise arrival had startled me so much that I hadn’t even realized that one of my breasts was sticking out of my nursing bra. I wasn’t wearing a shirt because I rarely slept with one. It was easier to nurse her in just the bra. With Bea in one arm, I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed my cardigan off of one of the stools before covering myself up.
The scene was chaotic as I fumbled with my sweater and spoke through Bea’s excruciating cries, “What are you doing here?”
“Do you always hang around the house in just a bra now? If so, we’re gonna have a problem.”
“I didn’t think you’d show. It’s earlier in the season than you arrived last year. Why didn’t you call me first?”
“For one, I didn’t think you’d be here. I needed to escape the city for a while. I was gonna spend a couple of weeks opening up the house, getting it ready before you arrived.”
Bea’s cries hadn’t waned. I bounced her up and down in an attempt to calm her.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s colicky. I can’t produce enough milk to satisfy her, and she won’t take formula.”
He slowly approached where I was standing and took a peek at Bea’s face. His mouth curved into a slight smile. “She looks like you.”
“I know.”
Now that he was close to me, he took a good look at me as well. “Jesus Christ, Amelia.”
“What?”
“You look like you’ve been through a war.”
“That’s another way of saying I look like shit?”
“Your eyes are bloodshot…hair is knotted. Fuck. You’re a mess.”
“You don’t think I’m aware of that?”
“Have you been sleeping?”
“No. I get very little sleep. She’s going through a rough patch, keeps me up at night and sleeps sporadically during the day.”
“You’ve got the rough patch part right.”
“Very funny.”
“You can’t live like this.”
“What exactly do you suggest I do?”
“You can start by taking a shower.”
“I can’t just leave her crying like this.”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe she’s crying because you stink?” He chuckled.
I was speechless for a moment before breaking out into laughter at my own expense. My God. He could technically be right.
“You might have a point.”
“I’ll hold her while you bathe.”
“Really? You’d do that?”
“I said I would.”
“Have you ever held an infant?”
“No.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“I can handle it.”
There was no way I could pass up this opportunity. The thought of a hot shower right now seemed absolutely heavenly.
Handing her carefully to Justin, I warned, “Watch her head. Make sure it doesn’t bend too far back. Support her neck with your arm.”