Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90410 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
His eyelids were fluttering in an attempt to decipher my words. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Bursting into tears, I sat back down on my bed and buried my face in my hands. I was suddenly all too aware of my pregnancy hormones. Justin, who had never seen me cry to this extent, sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. That only prompted me to sob harder.
“Amelia…talk to me. Please.”
“I went to see a doctor. It was just supposed to be a routine check-up. I’d been sick…just like you were…”
“Did someone hurt you over there?”
Wiping my nose with my sleeve, I cried, “No. It’s nothing like that.”
“What then?”
“The doctor ran some tests. One of them was a pregnancy test.” So ashamed, I pulled back to look at his face.
“You’re…pregnant?”
My voice was practically inaudible. “Yes.”
“How can that be?”
“I’m three months along. It’s Adam’s.”
“That asshole didn’t use a condom with you?”
“That’s the thing. We did use one. I don’t know how this happened. Clearly, they’re not foolproof.”
“Is it too late to terminate it?”
“Did you not hear me say I was three months along? Yes, it’s too late! Even so, I could never go through with an abortion.”
Justin got up from the bed and started to pace. “Alright…alright, I’m sorry. I was just thinking out loud, making sure you know what your options are.”
“I’m so scared.”
Jade’s voice called from downstairs, “Justin? I’m back!”
He stopped pacing. “Shit.”
“Please don’t tell Jade,” I begged. “I don’t want anyone to know yet.”
“Okay. Of course.”
“You’d better go.”
He wouldn’t move from his spot. “Amelia…”
“Go! Just go. I don’t want her to see me crying.”
Still looking shocked and confused, Justin quietly slipped out of the room.
I spent the rest of that night surfing the Internet for information on what to expect in the next six months. I had to figure out how I was going to tell Adam. He might not want anything to do with it, but he still needed to know.
***
Justin and Jade were packing up the car. I’d already said my goodbyes to Jade over an early breakfast but hadn’t had a chance to speak to Justin. They would be taking off back to the city any minute. I couldn’t believe this day was finally here. It was both dreaded and a relief all at once. Seeing him every day would have been even harder, knowing that without a shadow of a doubt, there was no longer the chance of a future for us. Justin didn’t want kids of his own, let alone to raise someone else’s. This pregnancy was the final nail in the coffin. Maybe I would take him up on that schedule for next summer. Better yet, maybe I would need to sell him my half of the house. As much as that thought was heartbreaking, I didn’t know what kind of financial situation I would be in after the baby came.
Standing at my bedroom window, I looked down as they placed suitcases and boxes into the back of the Range Rover. At one point, Justin happened to look up at me. He held up his index finger as if to tell me to wait for something. Soon after, I noticed that he whispered in Jade’s ear. A few seconds later, she took off in the car.
The sound of his footsteps soon followed. Then, he appeared at my door.
Looking morose, he said, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are you holding up?”
“Not too good.”
“I asked Jade to go get gas so that I could say goodbye, find out if there is anything you need before we leave.”
“No. I’m fine. You need to get back to your life.”
“I feel bad leaving you like this.”
“I’ll be heading home in a couple of days anyway. The sooner I get back to Providence and prepare for this new reality, the better I will be.”
“Patch…”
“Don’t call me that name anymore.” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Not because I’m mad at you…it just makes me sad.” My lips trembled.
“Okay,” he said softly.
“What were you going to say?”
“If you need anything…anything at all…please call me. Promise me you’ll keep me updated on what’s happening.”
“I will.”
“Let me know when I’m allowed to tell Jade.”
“Okay. It’s not like I can hide it much longer.”
His eyes wandered to the bed. Earlier, I’d been looking at the snapshots from the ultrasound and had left them lying out in the open. He walked over and picked them up. He stared at the images and looked mesmerized. “That thing is inside of you? You’re hardly showing.”
“I know.”
He shook his head while examining the photos. “God, this is so strange. I think I’m still in shock.”
“You wouldn’t be the only one.”
He placed the pictures back on the bed and was staring into space, deep in thought. He reached his hand into his pocket and took out the red pocketknife. “I want you to keep it. You need it more than I do. Keep it by your bed at night. It’ll make me feel better because I feel fucking helpless right now.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him. “Okay.”
His gaze moved to the window. We could both see that Jade was pulling in.
I wiped my eyes. “You’d better go.”
He didn’t move.
We stared long and hard into each other’s eyes until we heard Jade entering the house.
Then, he slipped away.
PART TWO
EIGHT MONTHS LATER
CHAPTER 10
I felt like I was breaking into someone’s property, even though it was half my own.
Everything looked the same as we’d left it. The beach house was freezing. The heat needed to be turned on. It was the middle of May and still fairly cool on the island. I wasn’t supposed to return until the end of June, but the house where I rented an apartment got sold, forcing me to leave. That gave me no choice but to head to Newport early, otherwise we would have been homeless. I was already on maternity leave through the end of the school year, so it made sense.
We’d been unable to find temporary tenants in the off season here, so the beach house stayed empty. An unexpected feeling of longing overwhelmed me. This place used to remind me of Nana; now it reminded me of Justin. I could practically smell his cologne in the kitchen. It was my imagination, but it felt real. I also imagined him standing near the coffeepot, smirking while stirring his coffee fusion…his bare muscled back as he looked out the window toward the ocean…the lick, slam, suck as he drank tequila. Gazing toward the living room, I remembered our awkward final night before Jade returned.