Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
No heart transplant is easy, but it’s as if his body is too tired to fight. I’ve sent his parents back to their hotel to shower and rest. I promised them I would stay with him until their return.
“Here you are, Doctor.” The nurse hands me a cup of coffee. “Can I get you a blanket?”
“No, thanks, Emma, I’m good,” I reply as I take it from her.
Her eyes linger on me. “You must be exhausted—you’ve been here all day.”
I give a sad smile as my eyes watch Justin hooked up to all the machines, the sound of his weak heartrate echoing through the room.
Don’t die.
“I’m fine.” I sigh. I get a vision of him in my office last week and how excited he was to be finally getting the procedure. I had no inclination that his young body wasn’t strong enough to get through it.
Don’t die.
I should call Eliza. Why?
She just hurts me. The words roll though my head on repeat. How do I turn them off?
Are you in love with Eliza, or are you just looking for an incubator to make your babies?
One sentence.
One sentence to bring my entire self-worth to a screaming halt.
Just one sentence is all it took to see myself how her and the rest of the world see me. As they will always see me.
My past will never be in my past. It will never be done.
I will always be the man with an agenda—a man who wants her for her uterus.
Eliza knows me better than anyone. At least, I thought she did.
She broke something inside of me and I’m trying to get it back. I really am.
I’m calling out to my heart to drop it, but it just can’t.
How do you ignore the most hurtful thing you’ve ever heard?
How do you pretend to yourself that it doesn’t matter that she thinks I would use her to have a child? How do you force yourself to drop something that means everything to you?
What if she’s pregnant?
I put my head into my hands as my elbows rest on my knees as Jolie’s words come back to me. I let the poison roll over me and sink into my soul again.
What are you planning… to give her five years and three kids, and then go back to your ex, while your best friend raises your kids alone?
How could she think I want Robert when she is my entire world?
Doesn’t she know me at all?
How could she go to a bar and say these things when I begged her for an answer all night? How could she? I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. How could she even think such a thing?
The piercing sound of a flat line echoes throughout the room, and I jump to my feet and hit the call button.
“Justin,” I cry. “Justin, no!” I tear his blankets down to get access to his chest as nurses come running from all directions.
“Stay with me, Justin,” I whisper. “You stay with me.”
Nathan’s alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m., and I watch him stir. I’ve been watching him since he got home and fell into an exhausted sleep. He didn’t get home until two hours ago.
His eyes find me in the darkness, and I smile softly. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
I reach over and cup his face in my hand. “Where were you last night?”
His eyes drop to the blankets. “I lost a patient.”
My face falls. “I’m sorry.” I know how hard this hits him.
“Me, too,” he whispers sadly.
He tries to sit up, and I reach for him. “Nathe.” He turns back to me.
“Can you just…?” I shrug softly. “Hold me for a minute.”
His face softens, and he takes me into his arms. We cling to each other. It’s as if the tighter we hold on, the more we can chase the demons away.
“I love you,” I whisper. “So much. You know that, don’t you?”
“I love you, too,” he murmurs into my hair.
I want to tell him that we can work this out—we need to try harder—but I don’t want to force him into anything if his heart is aching for another.
I need to let him go.
I pull back to look into his big, blue eyes, and they seem so sad. I brush the hair back from his forehead. “Are you okay?” I whisper.
“I will be.” He leans in and kisses me softly.
When will he be okay? When he leaves?
We kiss again and again, and it’s filled with regret and sadness.
It’s an emotional overload for both of us.
He rolls over on top of me and falls between my legs as we kiss. Our bodies desperately need the comfort of each other. Needing the connection that’s been missing. He slowly slides the side of his shaft through my lips… but I’m dry.
So, dry. A first.
“You’ll need something.”
He reaches over and grabs some lube from the top drawer. He massages it in, and then he slowly rises above me and slides in deep.