Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“Let’s not.” I roll my eyes. “And I don’t sleep with him, either.”
“Because of her?”
“Yes. Because of her.” I whisper angrily. “Robert and I are just friends. That has been well and truly established since I…” My voice trails off. Why am I explaining myself to her? “Goodbye, Stephanie.”
I walk down the corridor and into my office. Fuck.
How in the hell did I ever think that woman was attractive?
I need a vacation.
Eliza
February
“Happy Birthday, Alex.” I smile down the phone.
“Ah, my favorite girl.” He laughs. “Thank you, Lize.”
I miss this guy. “How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?”
“Great,” I lie.
“How’s New York?”
“It’s good. It took a while to get used to but I’m getting there.”
“When are you going home to San Fran?”
“Ah…” I hesitate. “Soon.”
“Mom said she saw you last week. She makes up excuses to come to New York and have lunch with you, you know.”
I laugh. “Oh, I love her. She makes my week when she comes to visit.”
“Have you spoken to Nathe?”
“No.” I sigh. “I haven’t heard from him.”
“Have you called him?”
“No.”
“How long has it been?”
“Six months or so.” My heart constricts at the mere mention of his name. “Is he okay?” I hold my breath as I wait for his answer.
“He misses you.”
I close my eyes. “Has he said anything?”
“He won’t let me talk about you at all. I have no idea what’s going on with him. He goes fucking psycho if I even mention your name.”
“Is he seeing anyone?” I ask nervously.
“Not that I know of.”
“I left him a letter.” I exhale heavily. “I honestly thought we would work this out, Alex.”
“What did the letter say?”
“Why I left, and how I was giving him space to finalize his past. I told him that I would be here waiting for him with open arms when he did.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Why didn’t you two go to couples therapy?”
“What do you mean?” I frown.
“Well, you had so much to lose, and he was seeing a therapist at the time, so why didn’t you ever go and see the quack with him and get professional help with all this shit? You’re both so stubborn that you can’t see the woods for the trees.”
I frown. “I never thought of that.”
“Well, I was thinking about you the other day, and I wondered.”
“Who is his therapist?” I ask.
“Elliot someone.”
“Yes, I remember.” Hmm, I think for a moment. “I’m going to look this doctor up and maybe call him.”
“It can’t hurt. And hey, why don’t you call Nathan while you’re at it?”
“I’ve nearly called him a million times.” I smile.
“So…why didn’t you?”
“You know why we broke up, right?”
“Yes, it’s the tragic version of Pride and Prejudice.” He sighs.
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, your prejudice and his pride.”
“I don’t have a prejudice.” I frown.
“Yes, you did.”
“How?” I scoff.
“Well, you feared he was going to go back to a man.”
“That’s a legitimate fear, Alex.”
“If he was straight and you met him, would you fear that he would go back to another woman?”
“Well, no… but, that’s different.”
“That’s how Nathan sees it… in black and white.”
“That’s not… that’s not a prejudice, Alex.”
“Isn’t it?” He pauses for a moment. “Did you treat him the same as you would have treated a straight boyfriend?”
My heart sinks. I didn’t. I was led by fear. “Look, I know I wasn’t the innocent party in this. We both handled things badly. But I tried to save us.”
“How?”
“The letter. I begged him to work things out and come find me. He never did, Alex. What was I supposed to do? Call him every day and beg until he gave in? He needs to want this, too. There are two of us, and I’ve made my wishes known.”
He exhales heavily. “You two are fucked up.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” I smile sadly. “But you’re right; I’m going to call Elliot and see if I can have a phone appointment with him. Maybe he can give me some clarity or direction. I mean, I know it’s too late for Nathe and me, but maybe he can help me learn from my mistakes and move forward.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“It’s so nice talking to you.” I smile. “Can you do me a favor?” I ask.
“What’s that?”
“Can you check on your brother for me? I really worry about him.”
“Okay. I will.”
“Call me anytime if you need me.”
“I will.” He pauses. “Take care, babe.”
“You, too. Happy birthday.”
He chuckles. “I’m getting fucking old.”
“It’s true, you are.”
“Bye, Lize.”
“Bye, Alex.”
May
“Knock, knock!” I call.
“Eliza.” Neil rushes to hug me. I’ve finally given in and come to visit Nathan’s parents in Vermont. “Come, come in.” He ushers me into the house. “It’s been too long since you came home.”
Home. This isn’t my home, this is Nathan’s. Ugh, this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come.
“Come in, love,” Phyllis says as she pulls me in for a hug. “I’ve made us a cake.” She squeezes me in an embrace. “It’s so good to see you.”