Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I close my eyes. “Stop nagging me.”
“Eliza.”
“Yes.” I frown, sit up, and I drag myself into the bathroom. I put the phone on speaker and take my makeup off. I also brush my teeth while he listens on.
“Now get into bed, babe,” he says.
“Hmm.” I roll my eyes and follow his instructions.
“Keep the phone in bed with you so you can call me if you need anything.”
“Nathe…” I smile as I close my eyes.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I love you.”
“Good, now go to sleep.”
“Night, night,” I whisper into the darkness.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
* * *
It’s Friday—the last day of the conference. It’s been great. I haven’t had to come to all the lectures, and I’ve had plenty of time to do my own thing. Henry has been the perfect companion, although a bit of a drunk. But all in all, it’s been enjoyable.
We are at lunch, and I’m standing at the bar to order a lemonade.
“Hi, there,” Zavier says from behind me.
“Hi.” I smile. I’ve chatted to Zavier briefly for most of the week. He’s lovely. There’s a burning question about our conversation we had on the first day, and I know I’m never going to see him again to ask later. We order our drinks and wait.
“Can I ask you something?” I say.
“Sure.” He gestures to a seat at the bar, and we both sit down.
“You said something to me the other night and it stayed with me. I wondered if I could ask you what you meant by it?”
“I hope I didn’t offend you.” He frowns.
“No, not at all.”
“What did I say?”
“I told you that Nathan and I had been friends for years, and you said that it all made sense now.”
His tongue slides over his bottom lip as he watches me.
“What did you mean?”
“Oh, Eliza.” He frowns. “Pay me no attention. I was out of line for saying that.”
“No.” I put my hand on his leg. “I’m never going to see you again, Zavier, and I won’t tell Nathan that we even met, but I would really like to know what makes sense to you. Because so much doesn’t make sense to me. It would be nice to get your perspective on this.”
“I wouldn’t want to upset you.”
I fake a smile. “You wouldn’t.” My eyes search his. “Please tell me what you meant.”
“I think…” He pauses. I smile and take his hand in mine. “I think that perhaps Nathan wants children.”
I blink. What?
“He’s at an age where he has to…”
“Settle with a woman,” I whisper as I finish his sentence.
“I’m not saying that’s what he’s done, and he’s probably madly in love with you.”
I fake a smile as I process his words. “Tell me something, Zavier.” I pause as he watches me. “If you wanted children, what would you do?”
He inhales sharply but doesn’t answer me.
“Please?” I prompt.
His eyes hold mine and he squeezes my hand in his. “I would fall in love with somebody I trusted for a period of time to make that happen.”
“Is this a common thing?” I ask. “Like, in the gay world. Is this a thing?”
He shrugs. “It can. They fall in love with a woman for a period of time, five or ten years, have their family, and then… Well, then they return to their old life. I’m not saying that’s what has happened between you two, but he probably wouldn’t be aware of it even if it has.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s intrinsic to want to procreate. It’s primal, buried deep within our DNA. Especially for a man as dominant as Nathan. His body would be seeking out a female and he wouldn’t even know why.”
I stare at him as I begin to hear my heartbeat in my ears.
“Are you attracted to women?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says softly. “And to be honest, I’ll probably love a woman one day.
“So that you can have a family?”
“Yes.” He nods. “Children are the greatest gift, and it is something that I will explore when the time is right. You never know, she may be my soulmate. That would be wonderful.” He smiles. “I believe that you and Nathan will work out. You’re so lovely and beautiful. I see exactly what he sees in you.”
I smile sadly. “Thanks for being so honest. I appreciate it.”
His eyes hold mine. “I hope I didn’t upset you.”
“Not at all,” I lie. “You just opened my eyes.”
20
Eliza
The drone of the plane hums through the cabin. I stare out of the window, miles away.
I learned a lot today about life… about myself.
Zavier’s words run through my mind. His body would be seeking out a female and he wouldn’t even know why.
The thought is depressing, but if I’m being completely honest with myself, it does make a lot of sense.
I think back to when this all began and how shocked Nathan was that he was physically attracted to me. It hit him like a ton of bricks.