Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Nobody was expecting it. Least of all me.
I mean, there’s no denying that he loves me. I know that, and physically, we are so good together… but is his body just longing for a uterus to impregnate?
Someone it can trust to bear his fruit?
Is that why he suddenly wanted me physically?
I close my eyes and put my head back onto the seat as I go over the facts of what I do know.
He never got over his first love.
I think about that for a while and what he has told me over the years about Robert and their time together. It’s no secret that Robert has been the biggest influence in Nathan’s life. His words from our first night in Majorca come back to me.
My biggest regret is leaving Robert.
Ten years later, and the biggest regret in Nathan’s life is leaving Robert.
Wow.
Not wishing that he professed his love to me earlier. Not going to Stephanie and giving her what should have been mine. Nothing about us or me at all.
His biggest regret was leaving Robert. His first love.
Why didn’t that bother me at the time that he said it? Thinking back, it should have. It was so off. Am I really so blinded by Nathan’s sunshine that I just swoon on his every word, regardless of the content?
I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. He never really broke ties with Robert. I know they speak regularly, and when Robert comes to town, they always catch up.
Do they still sleep together?
I think about his tattoo and the three swallows. He said they were of him and me, and the life he left behind. It’s weird. Why would he get a swallow for the life he left behind if it wasn’t symbolic? I think on it as I go over every possible explanation.
Is the third bird Robert? Is that who Nathan left behind?
Zavier said that Nathan told him he never got over his first love.
Hell...
I close my eyes because, now that I think about it, Nathan really might still love him.
And regardless of the uterus issues, and Stephanie, or the possibility that Nathan may be yearning for a man one day in the future. The worst problem of all would be him still loving Robert. That is a hill too steep to climb. We can’t get over that, no matter how hard we try.
Fuck, this is a mess. How do I find myself so deeply in love with a man who has so many unanswered questions hanging over his head? Actually, that’s unfair. Nathan doesn’t have any unanswered questions hanging over him.
They are all mine.
“You okay?” Henry asks softly. “You’re very quiet?”
“Yeah.” I smile over at him, grateful for his simplistic, sweet personality. “Just tired.”
He puts his back against the seat. “Me, too.”
Nathan
I pace back and forth. It’s been the longest week of my life. I can’t tolerate being without Eliza. Having to give her distance this week has nearly killed me.
I glance up at the arrivals screen as it flashes:
Landed.
She’s here.
I wait and wait, and I wait until, finally, I see Henry walking out with Eliza behind him. She looks up and sees me. She gives me a soft smile, and my heart swells.
Fuck. I love this woman.
I want to run to her and take her in my arms… but I won’t. I’ll stand here and act cool, as if my entire world hasn’t nearly ended this week without her.
Henry waves and nods, and I wave back, embarrassed by my behaviour before they left.
Eliza comes over to me, and I take her in my arms and kiss her softly. “Here she is.”
“Hi.” She smiles as she runs her fingers through my stubble.
“Feels like a long time since I’ve seen you,” I murmur as I hold her tight.
“I’m home now, baby.” She smiles and kisses me. “Come on.” She takes my hand in hers. “Let’s go home.”
We walk to the car hand in hand, and she chats away, telling me about her week. I watch her in a detached daze.
How have I come to depend on her so much? I can’t even sleep without her in bed with me. I’ve tossed and turned every night, watching the clock until the sun came up.
We arrive at the car and, unable to wait any longer, I take her face in my hands and kiss her deeply. My tongue pushes through her soft open lips. Her hands rest on my hips, and my cock begins to swell with every sweep of our tongues.
“What’s for dinner?” she asks, pulling away.
“I don’t know what you’re eating,” I say as I open her door, “but I’m eating you.”
Once in the car, we drive in silence, and I hold her hand in my lap.
She’s quiet.
“Are you tired, babe?” I ask.
“A little.” She kisses my fingertips. “What’s been happening here?”
“Nothing. I had surgery on Wednesday, and clinic all week. The apartment is lonely without you.” She presses my hand to her cheek as she watches me. But it’s a weird kind of look, as if she’s assessing me. Maybe she can sense my fragility. Perhaps it’s just in my imagination.