Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Back then, before the drugs and all that mess that had eventually taken him away from me, he’d make sure to take me out somewhere in public before telling me something he knew would piss me off because he knew that I wouldn’t make a scene. I hate being the center of attention, and he knows that.
But now, I don’t have any recourse; there’s no way for me to get to him that wouldn’t bring attention to myself, and I won’t be caught dead calling or texting him. I paced back and forth, biting my nails down to the quick feeling like a trapped mouse. As if he didn’t disrupt my life enough, he had to go and pull this shit.
I mean, who does he think he is to threaten me? Where does he get off after all this time? I’ve heard people whispering about the change in him, about how he seems like a new man, and from what little I’ve seen when he ventures out in public, I can see the truth in it, but that doesn’t mean that he has any place in my life.
I don’t know what gave him the idea that just because he’d got his shit together, that meant that I would even give him the time of day. After everything he’d done, he’s lucky I didn’t let Sydney loose on his stupid ass or let my fans go in on him the way they wanted to.
So why are you so tickled? Why do you have butterflies in your stomach? Because the heart wants what it wants, and I can’t control the stupid thing no more than I can control my tongue when I get riled. There was a knock on the door, and I turned to see Rachel walk in after giving the order for her to come in.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Fine, why?” I did a good job of hiding my hands because my chewed-off nails would be a good giveaway that I was anything but fine.
“Oh, nothing; I heard about the song.”
“What song?” Don’t tell me that people already know the meaning behind it.
“What do you mean what song? Ryder’s new song, of course. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard it.” She looked very disbelieving, and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I hadn’t, but I hate lying to anyone, no matter how small because I detest being lied to. “I heard it. But why should that make me feel any way at all?”
She doesn’t know how to break the code because no one knows about it but him and me, oh, and this MengeLiNi person. “You haven’t seen it.” She walked further into the room and unlocked her phone. Oh boy!
“Look, this person broke it down again, just like they did the last one.” How are they doing this? There’s no way these… unless they’d somehow got their hands on our old text messages and were able to piece it together. But that would mean….
I looked at my phone and shuddered. Could they? No way. I have amazing security on all my devices, and there’s no way I could be hacked that easily. Besides, why would they go through our old conversations unless it was to prove that I hadn’t deleted them? Which would mean that Ryder hadn’t deleted his as well.
“What is it?” I wiped the look off my face and put a smile on for her benefit. I’m not in the mood for one of her lectures, so I won’t be telling her where my thoughts have taken me. “Nothing, I’m just wondering why this person believes that crap. It’s obvious who Ryder is in love with, isn’t it? He married someone else, after all. I think everyone needs to get over this idea that he and I are still in love with each other.”
I had to look away because saying those words brought me close to tears. “You can’t blame people for wanting to see you two back together again. I mean, you were together for years. Your fans loved you, and everyone thought you were the perfect couple.”
“Rachel, you, of all people, should know better. You saw me; you saw what he did to me. How can you say that?”
“I’m not saying anything. I’m just trying to explain where the fans are coming from.” She walked over to the bed and sat down, which was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to be alone so I could think and listen to that stupid song again because the lyrics were the first thing to give my poor heart some life in a while.
Just because I have no plans on ever speaking to that person again didn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy the song or the fact that it sounded like he was dying for want of me. I know what Sydney would say if she were here, what she’d want me to do, but I don’t think I have the strength to make him eat his heart out right now.