Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
John is here.
He has his back to me and is sitting in one of the outdoor chairs. And on the table beside him…a bottle that looks familiar because I’ve brought the same. Damn it. He even bought the same brand as me this year?
I watch him for a moment as he stares into the woods. He must have parked in the garage. I can turn around right now and slip out. John would never know I’m here. But the thought makes my chest too tight, sends a tornado of anger and sadness sweeping through me.
I shouldn’t have to leave my own fucking cabin. After everything we’ve been through, can’t he at least talk to me?
He’s here.
The fact that he’s here has to mean something, doesn’t it?
I set my bag down, footsteps heavy as I go for the door. I slide it open, and John doesn’t even turn around, doesn’t look back at the sound.
“I texted you over a month ago, John. I don’t even deserve a reply?”
He doesn’t answer, just swishes his bourbon around in the glass, takes a drink, and sets it on the table. And that’s when I see it—the second glass.
He knew I would come. I don’t know yet if that’s a good thing or a bad one. If he wanted to talk to me here to let me know he can’t forgive me, that he wants me to walk away from Jay, or if John misses me too. The thing is, I know him. He does miss me. He does love me. There’s not a part of me that believes this isn’t hard on him too, but that doesn’t mean he can accept it.
With a sigh, I walk over and sit across from him, the small wicker table between us.
“Do you remember being out here for my sixteenth birthday?” he asks, voice low and sad.
“Yeah, I remember.” I take the bottle and pour some in my glass.
“I told you nothing would ever come between us. We were getting older, and people talk about how friendships fade around that age—kids change and meet new people. I think you were worried because Cal and I were getting more serious, like me loving her would change my friendship with you, and I wanted to make sure you never, ever believed that. We were brothers for life, I told you that day, do you remember?”
Tears prick my eyes. “I do. And I still feel the same way about you as I did back then. You taught me what it is to have a family. You showed me what it’s like to have another person who is always in my corner. Who will do anything for me. I know you feel like I betrayed you. And I did. I hate that, but you know me, John. Would I ever risk you if it wasn’t for something that’s real? Even in the beginning, I had to have known JT was different for me, or I never would have continued once I found out who he was. I’m in love with him, and I would never, ever hurt him.”
Finally, for the first time since the day we told John and Callie about us, he looks me in the eyes. They’re watery with unshed tears too. “But you do hurt him, don’t you?”
“I love you, brother, but that’s not your business. What we do in the bedroom—”
“He’s my son!”
“And he’s a grown man. One who is so fucking strong, just like his father. I know you look at him sometimes and don’t think you’re anything alike, but you are. You fought so hard for JT…for Callie…all while still becoming a dentist, and all because you love them and you’re too determined to back down. You’ve always known what you want, and you go for it. JT is the exact same way. He knows who he is and what he wants, and he sticks to his guns, no matter how difficult it is. He got that from you, and just because the things he wants are different from yours, it doesn’t make them less valid; it doesn’t mean they take less work, less grit, less stubborn pride. He’s his own person in every way he can be, but he’s also your son in so many ways that you don’t see.”
He looks away, swiping at the tears on his face.
“I love you, John…so fucking much…and I’m in love with your son. I want to spend my life with him. I want to wake up with him every day. He makes me feel… I don’t even know how to put it into words. Like I can have more than I ever thought possible. Like I’m worthy of it. He makes me laugh and want to soak up more of the lightness in the world that I’ve spent too long trying to pretend I don’t need.”