Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
He’s said the words out loud already, and I haven’t.
Eventually, I fall asleep too. I don’t know how much time has passed when I wake to him wiggling in my arms, and I can tell he’s getting up.
“Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you, but I have to pee.”
“It’s fine.” I kiss the tip of his nose. I love you. The words shouldn’t be that hard to say. I’ve given up the most important people in my life for him. I should be able to say them.
The ice pack is warm by now and sitting on my chest. He takes it, then brushes the back of his hand against my face. “You’re bruised on your cheekbone, and not the sexy kind of marks like you give me on my ass.”
“You don’t think it’s hot for me to look tough?” I try to joke.
“It’s not funny. I’m angry they blame you and not me. It’s not fair. I—”
“Shh.” I lean in and press my lips to his. “I have to go to the bathroom too, and I want my little sub boy to hold my cock for me while I do.”
I don’t know if this is the time to slip into our roles, but I feel some comfort at the familiarity. While we’ve never done this specific action before, I’m reminding us both of our places and maybe silently asking him if he’s okay with it. Still, I have to admit that for the first time in my life, there’s a quiet voice in my head that’s suddenly unsure of this thing I’ve always needed. When someone you love looks at you like you’re trash under their feet, it’s hard not to start seeing yourself that way too.
“Please, Sir. I would love that.”
“Good boy,” I reply, testing the words on my tongue again. It’s such a strange dichotomy—I feel unsure about using them, yet angry at myself for feeling like that. I know there’s nothing wrong with this, but my head is a mess.
Since he’s on the edge, Jay gets up first. We go into the bathroom downstairs, and he kneels and begins opening my jeans. I don’t watch him while he does, instead looking at myself in the mirror…at the purple bruise on my cheek and the dimness in my eyes.
“I’m done, Sir,” Jay says, and I realize he has my jeans open, and he’s actually pulled both my jeans and underwear beneath my ass without me noticing.
I move over until I’m standing in front of the toilet, Jay still on his knees. He grabs ahold of my soft cock, aiming it at the water, and waits. It takes a moment for the pipes to start running, but eventually the first squirt shoots out. Jay moans deliciously beneath me, and I can’t deny the heat that shoots through my body. It’s impossible to control with him.
My flow evens out, and he adjusts the angle. He really is breathtaking, watching me with rapt attention as if everything I do fascinates him. As if I’m this precious thing to him in a way that’s completely foreign to me.
When I finish, there’s a drop at the tip, and instead of shaking it off, he asks, “Can I, Sir?”
I shouldn’t say yes. Jesus, what would John think if he knew? My eyes squeeze shut as I try to push those thoughts away.
“Sir?” he asks, concern in his voice.
“I’m fine. Yes, you may.” I open my eyes and watch as Jay leans in, tongue lashing against the head of my cock, licking the piss there. He sucks the head into his mouth briefly before releasing it.
“All clean.” He beams up at me, light in his eyes that is contagious despite my dark mood. He is so proud of himself. He really does need this the way I do. What’s more beautiful than two people fulfilling parts of each other in the most honest and raw way? What’s more beautiful than trusting each other so completely, giving ourselves to each other, and making each other feel accepted and loved for parts of ourselves that others would look down on?
And as hard as it is, as much as I doubt myself now, I can’t let myself lose this, I can’t let us lose it because deep down, I know it’s beautiful. We’re beautiful.
“Thank you, sweet boy. You did such a good job holding my cock for me.”
He smiles, making my heart thump wildly against my chest. “Thank you, Sir. I have to go too.” I nod, and he stands. Once I pull my clothes up, I swat his hands away, open his jeans, and push them down beneath his ass too.
“Face the toilet.” He does, and I stand behind him, holding his cock the way he did mine. He gasps, then melts back against me, giving me his weight. “I can do this for you too. Standing up, I’m more in control, aren’t I?”