Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
“It stops now,” Dad spits out. “You’re not abusing my son.”
“It’s not abuse, John. Just because you don’t understand it or agree with it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. He’s a consenting adult—”
“And you’re like an uncle to him!” Dad growls.
Mom cries.
Marshall is fighting back emotion. His eyes look pained, his body tense, but he keeps himself calm when he says, “No. That’s not something I’ve ever called myself, and JT has never called me that either. You’re my brother, my best friend, and I love you, but I won’t let you turn this into something ugly. I’ve never felt this way before. Do you know what it does to me that the only person I’ve ever cared about this much is the one who will make me lose you? It’s killing me, John.” Marshall’s voice cracks.
“Then stop doing it. What do you do to my son? Do you hit him? Hurt him? Call him names? I’m not the one making this ugly. How can you ever expect me to be okay with you treating my son that way?”
“It’s not your business what we do, but whatever it is, it’s because both of us want it.”
Dad’s arm swings, his fist flying through the air, and connecting with a loud crack against Marshall’s face. His head snaps back, but he doesn’t fall, hardly stumbles, and he doesn’t make a move to hit back. It’s almost like the punch happened in slow motion, but too fast for me to comprehend. I don’t know how both things can be true at once, but they are.
“You hit him, and I hit you,” Dad seethes.
“What the fuck, Dad!” I shout, going to Marshall and touching his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He pulls out of my hold. “Do you feel better now?” Marshall asks.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” Dad tells him, then looks at me. “Don’t do this, JT. We’ll figure it out. He never should have done this to you.”
Tears run down my face. Mom is still crying too. Everything feels so big—so overwhelming—that I just want to close my eyes and pretend none of it is happening…but I can’t. Dad just hit Marshall, and that’s not something I can ignore. “I love him,” I admit. “He makes me feel strong…confident. Like it’s okay to be who I am. You have no right to hit him in anger, and I’ll never forgive you for it.”
“I can’t.” Dad shakes his head. “I can’t accept this. I’ll never turn my back on you, but I can’t get past this with him.” Dad’s voice is softer now, laced with a pain of his own—of losing his best friend, even if it is his choice.
“Mom?”
“He’s our family. He’s known you your whole life. You can’t expect us to be okay with this.”
“You know where to find us if you change your mind,” I say, then take Marshall’s hand. He doesn’t stop me, but he gives one more heartbreaking, pleading look at Dad, who turns away from him.
With a sigh, Marshall heads for the door, squeezing my hand tight, like he’s afraid if he lets go, I’ll disappear.
But I won’t. He’s my Sir, and for the first time, I realize that as much as I need him, he needs me too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Marshall
“Do you want me to drive?” Jay asks when we get to the car.
“I’m fine.” But really, I’m not. I went into this knowing what would happen, but it still feels like a knife to the heart. Like in some ways, my world is falling apart around me, and if it wasn’t for Jay, I would collapse too…but it’s because I’m with him that any of this is happening. It’s not his fault, and it doesn’t change how I feel about him. It’s just another way that life fucks with you sometimes.
“Let me see your face.” Jay reaches for me again, but I shake my head and jerk away. It’s throbbing, and I know it will feel even worse later. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”
“No. It’s not your fault. It’s just the way things went. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I just… I can’t do this here.”
“Okay.”
There’s disappointment in his expression, which mirrors in my chest. I’m not disappointed in him, but because I let him down—because I’m the reason his relationship with his parents will be even worse than it was before.
“I’m sorry, Jay. I should have fixed this. I should have made it better for you.”
“Jesus, Marshall. You’re not a fucking superhero. You’re human. There’s nothing you could have done to change this.”
Maybe my brain knows that, but the rest of me hasn’t caught up. “Let’s go.”
We ride back to my place in silence, Jay with his forehead against his window, looking out while I drive. This is usually where I shine. It’s strange that even though I’ve never been huge on emotions, or truly let many people penetrate my walls, I’ve always known how to take care of others. How to be there for them and help them feel better. I should have the words Jay needs. I should pull over and not drive another mile until I know he’s okay, but it’s like I’ve lost the ability in this moment. I’m empty myself and don’t know how to get past that.