Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 69170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
She said through her nasal cavity, and it sounded like chalk on a blackboard. “Cruella, shut your ass up and sit down. If you’d raised this mutt better, I wouldn’t be here now dealing with this shit.”
“I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that in my son’s home.”
“And I don’t appreciate you being a raging bitch, but here we both are.”
Ooh, this shit is lovely. I’ve bitten so many holes in my tongue over the years trying to keep myself from crossing the line with this hag, but today is the day I got something for her ass. Reconciles these nuts.
CHAPTER 4
My bastard ex loves chocolate. He can’t avoid it no matter what you do. It’s like an obsessive compulsion with him. I don’t mean a little cube here and there; I mean after his first taste, he’s got to eat a couple of bars until he’s anywhere near satisfied.
Do you know what looks like chocolate? Uh-huh! I overheard a conversation on the phone between him and little Ms. Hotpants. He’d fired her from the part-time job at his business and apparently was no longer seeing her because he was trying to convince the idiot judge that he wanted to reconcile.
Now, no one knows about the reason for her being fired, and I haven’t said a peep just yet since I’m waiting for the right time, place, and opportunity, aka, I’m waiting for my check to clear. From his side of the conversation, she needed to see him for closure. The only closure she needed to be thinking about was the closure of her slut legs, but I digress.
Apparently, he decided to go see her the next day, so I set my plan in motion. That morning, I woke up and chose pettiness. I didn’t go downstairs right away, but the special chocolate I left out on the counter the night before was gone when I arrived, and so was he.
I’m not sure exactly what happened, but he duck-walked his ass back inside the house less than an hour later. I held my nose as he went by me and kept reading my book. He came charging back down the stairs half an hour later and stomped his ass over my way.
“What did you feed me you….?” He grabbed his ass and high-tailed it the hell out of my face again. We played out that same scenario a couple more times until he got some sense in his head and stayed the hell on the toilet and away from me.
He about sounded like he was going to die when I passed by the bathroom door singing some ditty at the top of my voice. He played ass tag with the porcelain bowl all day and well into the night. At one point, he claimed that he was dehydrated, but when I put the Pedialyte on the table, he eyed it like it was Hades’ ball juice and wouldn’t touch it.
I’m sure he thought I’d messed with it, and I knew he’d think that; that’s the only reason I offered it in the first place. He got the bright idea to call my kids to complain, but I guess they’re still not talking to him because all he got was the answering machines for each of them.
Even Devon, who was always his shadow, couldn’t be bothered. I’d asked the kids to stay away for a little bit, though they kicked up a fuss about wanting to be here for me. But as their mom, I can’t have them in the middle of this mess. Their whole lives were being turned upside down because of this man’s selfishness, and I know that in the back of their minds, they’re hoping we work things out.
Since I know there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that that’s going to happen, I don’t want them getting their hopes up. Plus, they should be having fun with their friends on campus and not worrying about me since I wasn’t worried about myself. If not for the idiot judge, I would be on a cruise somewhere already; all he did was prolong the inevitable, and now I have to make new travel plans.
The one good thing about this whole mess is that I’ve been able to keep it contained. I swore my kids to secrecy even though Todd wanted to find the skank and put her in her place, and Sheila promised not to kill anyone until I gave her the go-ahead. I’m not even sure if Kevin told hot crotch the reason for her being fired. I think he might’ve told her that they should cool it before I found out.
He obviously didn’t tell anyone about the divorce since he made a dang fool of himself in the courthouse to stay married. But now that I think about it, this is way more fun than if I’d just taken his money and ran. That judge just signed his ass up for six months of revenge, and the cherry on top, he's the one who’d asked for it.