Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
He wrapped her up, and she let out all the poison.
* * * *
TJ knew damn well he was in trouble.
Despite the fact that she’d let him spank her and hold her, when she’d been done, she’d thanked him for the discipline and gone into the bathroom to clean up. And locked the door.
When she’d come out, he’d felt like she was further away than ever before.
He was so in love with her, and she didn’t believe him.
“You alone in there?”
His mom. That had been a lovely surprise when he’d awakened. His parents had been there witnessing him once again doing stupid shit. He was surprised they hadn’t picked up his sister so this could be one big family reunion. “Yeah, come on in.”
He was dressed and felt reasonably human. The debrief had been rescheduled for later, and he could hear Kenzie and Kala arguing about something in the background as his mom strode through the door. She looked tired, but then she’d been awake for more than twenty-four hours and worried she could lose her only son.
How much had it cost her to send in Kala and Cooper and Zach instead of going on her own? His mom could be a control freak. “You okay?”
She sighed and sank down on the sofa by the window. “I’m just glad you’re safe. We haven’t gotten much out of our friend downstairs, but your uncle will explain all that in a little while. If he can see by then. I know I should tell you and Lou to keep the sex thing private, but I love seeing Big Tag act like a fainting Jane Austen character. I need to get him some smelling salts and a fan. We could put one of those chaise lounge things in his office so he can pass out on it.”
He’d had enough of his uncle’s antics. They weren’t helping him with Lou. “The second time was completely his fault. He should have waited for someone to open the door, but he walked right in.”
His mother laughed but then sat back, going serious. “How is Lou? She looked wound up. I hear she had to take a couple of guys out.”
And she didn’t look surprised by that new information. “Did you know what she was doing for the team? You knew I thought she was strictly an analyst.”
His mom had curly red hair she usually kept in a ponytail or a bun, but now was around her lean shoulders. She wore a white tank top and tactical pants and combat boots. She hadn’t been in the Army for over twenty years, but it was still ingrained in her being. “Well, you’ve also thought she would get bored and go back to her ivory tower, leaving you outside to pine for her, so I didn’t think the truth would do that much for you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
His mother studied him with intelligent eyes. She’d been in the military, but she’d worked intelligence. She hadn’t been a grunt like him. “It means you’ve loved Lou for a long time, but you didn’t want to be in love with her.”
He wasn’t sure he’d understood the difference until a few hours ago. “I’ve always loved Lou.”
“But you didn’t think you deserved her love. Because you think you’re not smart enough for her.” His mother summed up ten years of his life in a neat packet. “You’re not, of course, but that doesn’t matter. She’s smart enough for both of you. She doesn’t need you to mentally challenge her. She needs you to balance her, but until you see that, there’s not a lot I can do. I know because I couldn’t see it either.”
“Couldn’t see it?” He was curious because it wasn’t like his mom to get real deep. That kind of talking was his dad’s territory. If his mom was willing to open up, she thought this was important.
“Couldn’t see what your dad could possibly see in me. I was older than him, harder than him. I was pretty broken when we met, and I didn’t want to love him because I would get my heart broken when he inevitably found a woman worthy of him. And then he died. That’s what it took. He died and I was pregnant, and I had to sit down and look at my whole life and figure out what I wanted. You know I almost gave you up. I never thought about not going through with the pregnancy, but I did think about finding another home for you. I didn’t think I was worthy of you, either.”
“Mom, that’s ridiculous. You’re a great mom, and Dad is still madly in love with you. It’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it? I often get distracted by the fact that you look so much like your dad, I think you’re another him. But you’re not. You’re so much like me, baby boy. I thought because you didn’t have the same problems as me growing up, you would be different. But I’ve learned some patterns are ingrained in us from birth. It doesn’t matter how much love and support you have, you’ll never be perfect, and that’s okay. Did I tease you too much? I need to know if you thought I was disappointed that you weren’t smarter. Because I wasn’t. You’re exactly who you need to be, who this family has always needed you to be.”