Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
He was correct on all points. There was a storm brewing, and if she didn’t do something about it, she might explode. Except she couldn’t. She’d tried. The week before, she’d even gone into her closet with a book that was sure to make her cry and she’d ended up sitting there feeling numb.
“We had a fight. A pretty big one. That has to have thrown you. I know it did for me. I don’t like not being right with you. Come here. Let me hug you.”
That was the last thing she needed. The lines were too blurred right now. She liked them nice and neat, to know exactly how to behave and what to expect. She didn’t have that with him now. Now all she had was chaos. “A hug isn’t going to work, and we have other things we need to do including going downstairs and proving to everyone we can still be professional.”
“Yeah, I don’t care what they think. I only care about how tight you seem. I can do this any number of ways. We were interrupted earlier today. We didn’t get to finish.”
“I’m not having sex with you so I can cry.” But it sounded so good. If only she could manage the mental hurdles it would take to justify it.
He patted his lap. “Then let’s try this a different way. Over my knee.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Place that sweet ass of yours over my knee and we’ll see if spanking does it for you.” His voice had gone deep again, like it had in the cell. “You know it works for a lot of subs, and don’t tell me you’re not a sub. When it comes to sex, you are absolutely submissive. It’s why it didn’t work with those other men. You need a dominant partner when it comes to sex, and a calming influence outside of it. Lucky for you, I’m both. Come on, Lou. You know you need this. Or we can go for a jog.”
That sounded terrible.
Did she want to go into that meeting as wound up as she was?
It was an actual ache in her chest, and if she did nothing she wouldn’t be able to sleep because the voices in her head would be so loud, telling her she’d done everything wrong, that if the mission failed it would be her fault, that she would screw everything up and be alone.
She knew it wasn’t real, but those old anxieties never let her down. They were always there unless she found a release valve.
A stupid idea played through her brain. What if he was right? What if this was exactly what she needed?
“Or I could call my uncle in and get you a session with someone,” TJ offered as though it was the worst thing he could think of.
She felt a wave of disappointment go through her. “Can I have some time to think about this?”
“What is there to think about?”
“Whether or not we should take on that kind of relationship. I assumed when you basically offered me a session, you would be acting as my Dom and not my friend.”
“You want me to…” His brows had risen and then he nodded. “Yes. That is what I meant. As your Dom and not your friend. You need a physical release to gain an emotional one, and I’m here for you. I don’t think we should wait until we get back to the club, though.”
Now there was something she hadn’t thought about. There might be a way out of the chaos. “We could keep it to the club.”
“Seriously? This is where you want to go with this? You want us to do this thing where we pretend we’re not together outside the club.”
It might be the only way she could handle the situation. “What happens in the club, stays in the club.”
A weary expression came over his face. “Baby, I don’t know if we’re going to the same clubs, but I can see you need this. Let me see if I understand what you’re offering me. I top you in the club and don’t touch you outside of it?”
“If I need a session outside of the club, we could have protocols for that, too.”
“Do I get to fuck you, Lou?” TJ asked quietly.
God, how could he talk to her like that? How could his gorgeous mouth be so filthy, and how could she love it so much? “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“So I do all the work and get nothing that I need?”
She didn’t like the sound of that. “What do you need?”
His eyes were back to that dark, possessive look she’d never seen before this day, the one that pinned her and made her think twice about pushing him aside, the one that made her feel like he was looking at her for the first time. “I need you. I need you all the time, but you’re going to punish me for being foolish, and I can’t blame you. I have gone behind your back and pretty much threatened every man who ever looked at you with wretched death if they fucked you over.”