Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
It was the first time I’d opened myself up to being affectionate with a man in public. Hell, I hadn’t even thought it through before grabbing Kieran. I’d just known I’d needed to touch him; to thank him. Having not only that moment but our whole day colored with hate made my stomach tie into knots.
Part of me was mad at Kieran, even though logically I knew I shouldn’t be. He’d done this by taking me out; by spending the day with me and making me feel comfortable and open.
When we got back to the house, I pushed the door open and rushed out. I bounded the stairs before Kieran and then realized I would have to wait for him to let me inside the cabin anyway.
My stomach got tighter and my heart rate sped up.
Kieran took his time opening the door and I shoved inside. You’re being ridiculous. You’re acting like a child. I was. I knew I was but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“Jared,” Kieran said simply and I stopped with my back to him. I couldn’t seem to walk away. His hold on me was still there.
“I just want to be alone for a few minutes, Kieran. I need to be alone.”
“No,” he replied with authority in his voice.
“No?” I whipped around to face him. “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me I can’t have five fucking minutes alone if I want it.” Didn’t he understand this was a first for me? That I’d been teased and picked on and called out as a child and I’d promised myself that I’d never let that happen as an adult?
“You don’t want to be alone. You’re angry and hurt, which is understandable. You’re trying to run and I won’t allow that.”
My body trembled. The man’s words got louder in my brain. I shook my head, tried to set fire to those thoughts and watch them burn. “You should have told me it wasn’t smart to do that kind of thing here.”
“How was I supposed to know?” he answered calmly. “Plus, bigotry can happen anywhere, boy.”
“Don’t call me that. I just…five minutes…I just need five minutes to clear my head.” But why did I need that time? That’s what I didn’t understand. What would those five minutes give me?
“And you think five minutes alone will do that?”
My breathing picked up and my chest grew tighter. I needed…fuck, I didn’t know what I needed. To breathe. To think. I would be okay if I could settle down.
I turned and started walking toward the hallway again. My head spun and…I was pissed, so fucking pissed that someone felt they had the right to yell that at us. That they thought something was wrong with us. Kieran cared about me. He was kind to me. He wanted to take care of me and I wanted to take care of him. They were taking something beautiful and turning it into something ugly. They were taking something we needed and turning it into—“Jared, stop.”
Just like on the sidewalk, I immediately halted at Kieran’s words. He stepped up behind me. His breath was warm against my neck and his body strong against mine. I wanted to turn, wrap myself around him and just live in the beauty of what he gave me. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I’d taken it out on him, when he hadn’t deserved it. When he gave me peace.
“Shh. It’s okay. Daddy will take care of you. We’ll make it go away.” He rubbed my head and I leaned toward him, into him. “Get on your knees for me.” There was a part of my brain that wanted to tell him sex couldn’t solve everything, it couldn’t make everything go away, but this wasn’t only about sex, was it? Despite what we were doing, it was about more than the physical act. It was about submission—dominance. It was about trust. It was about opening myself up. It was about setting me free. Clearing all the fog in my brain. Centering me. Grounding me. About being raw and honest in ways most people weren’t.
Funny how I could find all those things in what Kieran gave me.
So, I listened. I got on my knees in the middle of the hallway, and then looked up at him while I waited for Kieran to tell me what to do next.
“Unbutton and unzip my pants.”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied on reflex. It only took me a moment to open his pants, before I waited for his next instruction.
“Suck me.”
I tried to pull his underwear down but he grabbed my wrist. “No. Through my clothes.”
“Yes, Daddy,” I answered before leaning in. I sucked the head of his erection through his black boxer trunks.
“Lick my balls,” he said and I inhaled his scent as I did so. And as I listened to him, as I obeyed him, some of the chaos in my head began to quiet.