Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Next time he lunged for me, he caught me. His arms went around my neck, hanging off me. “I’m tired. Why’d you make me do this? Take me back to shore.”
“Me? I made you? How about the other way around?”
I turned a little, and he was still hanging on. Our faces were close, our mouths inches from each other. I didn’t know how this happened or why neither of us was pulling away. We were breathing heavily and shivering because of the cold. A drop of moisture trembled on the tip of one of Josh’s lashes before he blinked it away.
We were kicking, trying to keep ourselves above water, and then my hands were on his waist…and what the fuck was I doing?
Josh cocked his head slightly, as if he was as confused as me. “Griff?” His voice was soft, questioning.
When I didn’t move, didn’t reply, Josh began to lean in. Every warning bell inside me went off. I couldn’t do this, couldn’t want this. Not with Josh. We were too damn different, especially when it came to sex. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even be satisfied by someone like me. Or, what if this was a fluke and I didn’t get into it the way I should? I’d always been able to perform when I needed to, but it hadn’t felt like this, the deep-seated need spreading through me at a rapid rate. Just thinking about it scared the fuck out of me.
We jerked away from each other at the same time.
“Shit,” Josh said. “I’m sorry. Don’t know what came over me.”
“I…I gotta go.” I needed to think, needed to clear my head, needed to figure out if this was what I wanted, and what it meant, and how it could be with Josh when we were nothing alike.
“Wait. Go?” he asked as I began swimming back to shore.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just gotta think. I’ll be back. Just gotta think,” I repeated. It was ridiculous, running from an almost kiss. I understood that, but I couldn’t stop myself.
We got out of the water, and Josh stayed outside as I went in and got dressed. With a scoop of my hand, I grabbed my keys, then went straight for my truck.
I didn’t see Josh at all as I drove away.
CHAPTER NINE
Josh
I stayed out by the dock until Griff’s truck pulled out of the drive, kicking up rocks as it went. “Motherfucker.” I ran a hand through my hair. That had been…really fucking stupid was what it had been. What in the world had come over me? Sure, I’d been feeling some kind of something when it came to Griffin for a while now, but as far as I knew, he was straight, and he was Kell’s brother, and he was different from me when it came to what he was looking for. I couldn’t risk more than just sex with someone ever again. My brain wasn’t wired that way anymore, and that wasn’t Griff. All that kiss would have done was fuck things up, not only our friendship, but our group of friends, and potentially drive a wedge between Kellan and me.
But God, I’d wanted it. Craved it. Craved him.
And for a moment there, I was fairly sure he’d wanted the same thing.
I paced the dock so long I was surprised the wood didn’t begin to wear thin. I’d fucked up, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
It was a kiss—an almost kiss—and while for me, I couldn’t quite connect the dots on why it was a big deal, I knew it would have been for Griff.
I went inside, showered, got dressed, but he still hadn’t come back. I noticed his cell sitting on the counter, where he’d left it when we went swimming.
I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I puttered around the cabin, with each moment that went by my worry scurrying quicker through every inch of my body, swimming in my blood and pumping through my heart.
My hands were shaking. I tried to sit still, tried meditating even, but when I closed my eyes, all I could see were flashes of Doug, then Griff’s face instead of his. Griff banged up and broken. Griff in that bed.
“Fuck. Where the hell are you, Griffy?”
I kept telling myself there was no reason to worry. What happened with Griff wasn’t the same thing that happened with Doug. That Griff would be fine. One accident didn’t mean there would be another, but no matter how much logic fought to break through, my fear kept reinforcing the wall.
Dinner. I could get dinner going so it would be ready when he got back.
I fired up the grill, put some chicken on. When it was done, I plated and covered it.
Time didn’t stop ticking, and Griff didn’t come back, and my phone couldn’t buzz with a call because he’d left his motherfucking cell phone here.