Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
CHAPTER TWELVE
Griffin
Clearly, what I’d admitted to Josh while we were away made shit awkward. We hardly spoke the rest of the night. Sure, we teased each other a bit. We weren’t dicks or anything, but things were, for lack of a better term, off.
Leave it to me to finally feel this kind of desire for someone, only for it to be the wrong damn person and for me to screw everything up in the process. Maybe this was just how it was supposed to be for me.
The crew stayed for a few hours. When Knox and Callum announced they were leaving, everyone else stood and did the same. My gaze drifted to Josh again, curious if he would go or stay, but he was on his feet too, which gave me my answer. A rolling wave of disappointment washed over me.
We said our goodbyes, mine and Josh’s especially short, before they all made their way out. “You and Natalie, huh?” I asked Miguel during a lull in customers.
“She’s great. I really like her.”
“Will the baby thing bother you?” Maybe it wasn’t my place to ask, but I needed to know. I loved Kellan, Chase, and Natalie too much not to worry about how things would go down. Natalie would do anything for Kellan, but I also knew my brother would be crushed if a commitment Nat made to him caused problems with her relationship.
“We’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Natalie and I aren’t that serious yet. Can I see it going that way? Yeah, but we have some time ahead of us. But to answer your question, no, it won’t. To be honest, it makes me like her even more. My brother is gay. He and his husband used a surrogate. It’s the best gift you can give someone.”
It was just the answer I needed. Miguel was good people. There was no doubt in my mind about that. “Thanks, man. Sorry for asking.”
“No worries. You’re looking out for the people you love. From what I hear, that’s your MO.”
I shrugged. No reason to deny it.
People began to trickle out of the bar. By closing time, the last customer was paying and Miguel had already begun end-of-day duties, not leaving me much to do. “You can go ahead and get out of here,” I told him. “I can finish up by myself.”
“You sure? I don’t mind staying.”
I waved him off. “Nah, it’s all good.” I probably wouldn’t leave right away anyway. I’d just go home and not be able to sleep.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
I walked Miguel to the door and locked up behind him. I just got to the register when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I tugged it out, making sure Josh’s turtle stayed in place. I didn’t know why I carried the damn thing around like it really was lucky, but I had ever since he gave it to me.
Let me in, Grumpy G.
I turned away from the text and went back to the door. I unlocked it, and sure enough, there was Josh. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t really know. Made it home. Stayed there about half an hour, then came back.”
“Where have you been the whole time?” It had been longer than thirty minutes since our friends left.
“Outside in my damn car. I parked around back so no one saw me sitting there. What the fuck even is that? Why did I sit in my car for nearly two hours, away from view like there was something to hide? Christ, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Josh ran a hand through his hair and began to pace the room.
After putting the locks into place, I went over to the bar and poured two shots of whiskey. With a soft thud, I set them on the counter, then went around and sat on one of the stools. I waited, and a moment later Josh came over. We each picked one up, clanked them together, then swallowed them down.
“I wasn’t gonna meet a guy,” Josh said without looking at me.
“You have every right to.” The words were bitter, unfamiliar jealousy curling deep inside me, but they were true.
“But I wasn’t. That’s what matters.”
“You made sure to download your app again.” I shook my head. “Shit. I’m sorry. I had no right to say that.”
“Because I’m trying to get you off my mind!” Josh raised his voice, sending a shockwave through me. “Still, I turned everyone down. I keep saying no.” He sighed, dropped his head back, and I took a minute to admire the long column of his throat, the way his Adam’s apple moved. Josh’s eyes met mine again, fire and want colliding between us. “I can’t get you outta my damn head.”
My reaction was purely instinct. I didn’t plan it, didn’t give myself time to think or come to the decision. I shoved out of my seat, the stool toppling over and hitting the floor with a clatter. I grabbed Josh’s shirt and pulled him to me, crushing our mouths together. I was greedy for him, felt like I was starving. My hand went to the back of Josh’s head, and I threaded my fingers through his hair. I pulled him closer, felt the hard press of his lips, the light stubble on his face, which he didn’t keep as religiously as me, and wondered if he enjoyed the friction of my facial hair against his skin. It was foreign to me, but oh, so fucking good.