Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
“Please stay,” I asked him, desperation in my tone. I needed him here with me. I didn’t know why. I just didn’t want to handle Mom on my own.
“Don’t be upset, Carter,” she added. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to see you again, and I figured Jon and I could use a few days apart anyway.”
“What are you doing, Mom?”
“Carter, you can’t just walk away from—”
“An asshole?”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t need to know him. I could put his face on any of the guys you were with when I was a kid. It’s like you have some asshole-dar you use to find them. I don’t understand how one person can find so many assholes.”
“Babe, don’t call them that.”
I didn’t know where the confidence came from, or why, but I figured it had something to do with Sawyer being there. I spit out, “You certainly never had a problem with what they called me.”
She teared up, her eyes looking everywhere but at me. “I don’t know what you mean.” Although, I could tell that, more than anything, she was trying to convince herself of that.
“Why don’t you look your faggot son in the eyes when you say that?” I asked, which evoked tears as she continued searching around the place, as though the response to my grievance would be somewhere on the walls.
“Are you so upset about that one time?”
“One time with that word,” I clarified. “But what about pansy, sissy, girlie? What about the various snide remarks from your asshole-boyfriend-of-the-moment that used to make me feel like I was nothing? Where were you then?”
“Baby, why are you acting like this? We were having such a lovely conversation and dinner. Where is this coming from? That was all so long ago.”
“Yes, it was so long ago. And it would be one thing if I thought you’d come a long way or become a better person, but I look at you, and you’re still that same woman who sat there on that couch and didn’t say a damn thing when I was insulted, but God forbid I say something about any of them. I just don’t get it, Mom. Why? I’ve always been here for you. I’m the only man who has always come back when you needed him, so why do you always treat me the way they treat you? And why do I keep coming back when you do it?”
The moment I spoke the words, I knew that was where my pain was really at. As I sat there for dinner, back in her home, enduring another one of her reconciliations with a bastard, I knew I was no different than she was.
I pushed to my feet.
“Carter, I—”
“No, Mom. I can’t stay here. Not another minute. I love you, but clearly being with a guy who treats you like shit is still your number-one priority.”
I started for the door, Sawyer not far behind. I heard Mom’s chair slide across the linoleum.
“Carter!” Mom called out.
I was already pushing out the front door, Sawyer putting his arm around me, but I spun around.
Her eyes were filled with tears—oh, the tears I had become so accustomed to throughout my life. Her expression was pleading for me to stay.
“Please, Carter, don’t do this. You know I need you. Please come back inside. Jon and I are in a bit of a jam right now with the mortgage, and I was hoping to talk to you about it.”
I knew what she meant—she needed more money. And as much as I would have given it to help, this was not the time for her to be bringing it up.
I stepped away from Sawyer and returned to her.
“I love you, Mom, but you’re like some fucking addict. I can’t be here to fund your addiction to these guys, but I’m willing to be here when you’re ready to get help. Until then, please leave me alone.”
Sawyer wrapped his arm around me as we headed back to the car.
Mom called after me a few more times, even shouting, “I’m sorry, Carter,” but it was too late. It was no different now than it had ever been, and it would never change. Just like Mom dreamed Jon would be different, I’d dreamed the same about her, hoped the same.
I was grateful that Sawyer gave me time to process everything as we headed to the hotel where I’d made reservations before we went to meet Mom. We checked in, and I sat on the queen-size bed in our room while Sawyer grabbed our bags from the car.
My face was hot with fury, my hands balled into fists. I was sure if I checked my phone, I’d see twenty missed calls from her.
“You okay?” he asked softly as he sat on the bed beside me.
“I don’t know if I did the right thing, leaving her like that,” I confessed. “But I don’t know how to help her anymore. I keep giving, and she keeps taking, and nothing changes.”