Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
“It’s obvious you love her, but it’s okay to put yourself first. You deserve that. And you don’t have to have all the answers right now.”
He was right. I was used to having to find solutions for my job. Used to needing to fix things as soon as they came up, but this wasn’t one of those things.
As my eyes filled with tears, I put my arms around him, tugging him close. I needed Sawyer to be there for me, exactly as he was doing.
And just like with his reassuring touch in the car, his hold offered me some relief. Not much, but enough that I felt like I could breathe.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Sawyer
I tried to top with this guy I’m seeing. It was a bit of a disaster. I just couldn’t stop overthinking everything.
~ Sawyer’s Journal, 21 years old.
I held Carter, letting my hand travel up and down his back. I had this primal, raw urge to take care of him, to protect him, to make him feel loved. He likely didn’t need that from me. I was pretty sure Carter was the strongest person I knew, and I was sure love wasn’t something he was looking for from me either, but there was this ache in my chest that confirmed love was what I was feeling.
Christ, the shit he had been through with his mom over the years—the men and the ups and downs. The way he was always there for her, but she couldn’t manage the same with him. It broke my damn heart, made me see him in even more ways than I already had. He was so layered, I wondered if I would ever learn everything about him.
But I wanted to. Fuck, I really did.
It had taken everything inside me not to tell him how incredible he was when his mom shared the story about the Dumbo collar and ears. He was so fucking brave, braver than I had ever been in my life, and I was in awe of him. How had I ever thought Carter anything less than the wonderful man he was?
“Ugh. I’m sorry. I hate losing it like this,” he said into my chest, and I held him tighter.
“It’s okay. You’re allowed. Hell, I figure it’s expected. You’re safe with me.” It was what we had with each other—safety. I’d never felt safe with another man the way I did with Carter either.
He tensed up slightly against me, as if my words had surprised him, and then I felt him let go. “I don’t understand why I’ll never be as important to her as the random men going in and out of her life. Why won’t anything I do ever be good enough for her?”
My heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine feeling that from my family. I was lucky, having Cam and the parents we did. Carter had never had anyone, and I wanted him to know he had me. That he could always depend on me, even if things didn’t work out between us. “Hey.” I pulled back enough so I could see him. Hooking my finger under his chin, I tilted his head up. “You’re enough. If she doesn’t see that, it’s on her. Christ, Carter, you dropped everything to come here. This isn’t the first time you’ve done that. You have such a big goddamned heart, and I hate that she doesn’t treat it with care. I hate that I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt from the beginning.”
He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. My personality has always been my armor to keep people at a safe distance. Keeps even the good ones like you away.” His eyes darted away as if he was unsure. Carter James was rarely unsure about anything. “You’re here now.”
“Yeah,” I replied softly. “Yeah, I am.” Then I slipped down to the floor and knelt between his legs. I went for one of his shoes and began untying it.
“What are you doing?”
“Running a marathon.”
“Ha-ha. Someone thinks they’re funny now.”
I took off his left shoe and then went for his right. “I’m taking care of you.”
“You don’t have to do that. It’s my job to take care of people.”
“No,” I said, looking up at him. “It’s not. You deserve to be taken care of too.”
So I finished taking his shoes off and then went for his socks. I stood and toed out of my own shoes before holding out my hand for him. Carter took it, and I led us to the small bathroom in our hotel room.
Once I got the water going and to temperature, I turned around and began taking his clothes off. He lifted his arms for me, and I pulled his shirt over his head. Kneeling, I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, next removing those, along with his underwear.