Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“It is poor timing,” Dad says. “When your dad and I were in college, we were nowhere near ready to deal with the feelings we had toward each other. It took us six more years to get there.”
“Sure. ‘We.’” Pop scoffs.
“Okay, your pop never made me aware that we were falling in love. Better?”
“No. You say that like it was my job to point out how you felt about me.”
I cut in. “As much as I love it when you two bicker between yourselves instead of, you know, parenting, I kind of need direction.”
At the same time, I’m given two different answers.
Dad’s response is the obvious one. “Focus on football, not dick.”
While Pop’s is something I should expect from him but don’t. “Follow your heart.”
“Well, that clarifies everything. Thank you so much for your help.”
“Could it be anxiety over your future?” Pop asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Self-sabotage. All athletes go through it at one point. Maybe your infatuation with Levi is your brain’s way of needing time off football to recharge.”
“Are you saying my feelings for Levi aren’t real?”
“No, but it’s possible.”
Dad sighs. “Listen, Pey.” His tone has taken on a serious quality that I’ve only ever dreamed of hearing from him. Sure, he can be serious when it comes to football, but even then, he always has a playful and goofy side. He has always made sure football was fun for us and not shoved down our throats. He didn’t only share his love of the sport with us, but he wanted Brady and me to love it as much as he does.
“One thing I learned from falling for your father is if you find the love of your life, the universe has a way of making sure you’re together,” Pop says. “Even if it takes six years for it to happen.”
“Your focus right now needs to be football,” Dad argues. “You’re so close to the end and everything we’ve worked for. Like Pop says, if it takes six more years to be with Levi, then that’s what it does. You might even forget all about Levi Vanderbilt once you’re in the NFL.”
“I’ve been telling myself that for weeks, but I still can’t … I keep …” I grunt. “I can’t get Levi out of my head. What kind of media shitstorm am I looking at if I have a boyfriend when I’m drafted?”
Silence. Again.
“We need to get Damon in on this call,” Dad says.
“Don’t do that. You know I can’t use him as my agent yet.”
“Well, it’s talk to Damon now, wait until your season is over, or deal with this yourself. What do you want to do?”
I really have to think about that because I don’t know. The season could be all over this weekend after our last regular season game. It’ll definitely be over next month at the latest if we’re chosen for the playoff. Then I can have all the talks in the world with Uncle Damon about my future because I’ll be free of the NCAA clause that states players can’t have representation while playing Division I football.
One month to focus solely on football.
After that? Maybe I should take Dad’s advice and leave it up to the universe.
“I’ll do the right thing,” I mutter to my dads. And when we end the call, I do something I need to do, but it feels so wrong. I text Levi, each word I type making my stomach churn.
Is it okay if we cool it for a while? I really need to focus on football.
It’s a cop-out, and I hate it, but there’s no other option for me at this point in my career.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it a month. It hasn’t even been a week yet, and as we hit the field for our last game of the season, my gaze goes to the thousands of faces in the stands. Levi probably didn’t come.
Not after the single-letter text I got in response to the one I sent him. “K.” It’s not like I could’ve called him out on it either because what I did deserves that kind of response.
I’ve been strong by sticking to my resolve and what Dad said. Football has to be my only focus. It helps that Dad and Pop flew in and have been in my head all week about plays and working out. They basically haven’t left my side, and I can’t help wondering if they’re babysitting me so I don’t sneak out so I can have sex with the big distraction that is Levi Vanderbilt.
What is this, high school?
I’m not saying it’s unwarranted, but still.
Brady brings Levi up almost every day any spare chance he gets when our dads aren’t listening, but my brother doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand how it’s hard for me to stay away from Levi but even harder to chase after him.