Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 413(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Brady doesn’t get attached to anyone he hooks up with, and he never had the drive or the passion for football. Playing anyway. He loves the game as much as the rest of our family, but he’s never had that pull in two opposite directions, so he doesn’t know what uncertainty is like. My brother has known what he has wanted to do with his life since freshman year of high school, and he has never met anyone who makes him question it all.
Not that I’m questioning football. I want football, and I want Levi, but we’re in a hopeless situation where having one risks the other and vice versa.
As the team takes our spot on the sidelines, my gaze catches Brady. Not only him but the guy next to him as well. He brought Levi. To my last game.
I should be mad, or maybe I should worry about that throwing off my focus, but I’m not. Damn, Levi looks good. He hasn’t styled his hair, and in the last few weeks, it’s grown out and reminds me of how it used to be. I want to run my hands through it.
Pop’s large hand grips my shoulder. “Is your head in the game?”
“Are you asking for you or dad? Depending on your response, it will affect my answer.”
“For me.”
“Then you should know that if it was, you wouldn’t even need to be asking that.”
Pop turns me toward him and puts his hands on my shoulders. “I will deny I ever said this, but if you want to walk out of here and not play this game, if the pressure is too much, say the word, and you and I can run away to Mexico. Dad will never find us to kick our asses.”
I snort. “As much as I love that you would do that for me, it’s not football that’s getting me down. And it’s not Levi. It’s …”
“It’s that you want both but are under the impression it’s not going to be possible?”
“Exactly.”
“Here’s the thing. There came a time in your dad’s and my relationship where we had to choose between hiding our relationship or coming out, which in turn could have affected our careers. It almost felt like we needed to choose each other or football. We were stuck between hiding it or making the conscious choice to say, ‘Hey, you’re the person I want to be with, and if that comes with consequences, we can face them together.’ Even if it means we lose our careers. Our money. We chose to make each other our number one priority while still going for the things we wanted. And we have a Super Bowl win to prove it.”
“Two. Technically.”
“Nah, I don’t count that first one. I only played a couple of regular season games that year. But my point is, we did it. We put everything on the line and got everything we ever wanted.”
“What are the chances of something like that happening twice? My biggest fear is either spending too much time with Levi to the point football suffers or focusing only on football like Dad wants and losing Levi because I’m not there for him enough.”
“Those are both hypothetical situations, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re acting like a relationship is the worst thing that could happen to your career. Sure, there will be some media scrutiny, but you’re Marcus Talon’s son—you were always going to be in the media spotlight, no matter who you date.”
“That’s true,” I murmur.
“You’re worried about the fallout of something that hasn’t even happened yet. You’re in your head, which means that if you get out on that field tonight and fuck up, it’s not Levi’s fault. You possibly dating or not dating Levi isn’t to blame. The only person to blame is you because you’re making this into a bigger issue than it needs to be.”
He’s right. He’s so right.
But acknowledging that doesn’t make the unease go away. Not completely anyway. Irrationality doesn’t give a shit about logic.
“Thanks, Pop.”
“Your head in the game now?”
No, but if I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t have to be one or the other, I think I can be ready. “I … I think so.”
“Just remember that your whole future doesn’t actually ride on tonight’s outcome. No matter what happens out there, you’re getting drafted. Your record stands on its own. The only change it might make is you won’t be the number one draft pick, and that’s not a bad thing. At all.”
He’s right about that too.
“It’ll be less pressure,” I say.
“Exactly. I know your dad has raised both you and Brady to want to be the best. To strive to win. That’s how your dad is built. But I want you to remember, coming in second or third isn’t the same as losing. I didn’t have the greatest offensive tackle stats, but I still made my mark on the world of football, and you can do it too. There’s a spot for you in the NFL. All you have to do is get out of your head and take it. That is, if you still want it?”