Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 98992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
My response is almost made entirely of air. “Oh?”
“Yeah. You know how sometimes you just see things and in your gut you just know for a fact they’re perfect for each other. That they belong together. That they…I don’t know. Just fit. That’s what I always thought about you two.”
Inability to speak reigns once more.
“And it wasn’t all Ryder’s fault your relationship went to shi-,” he cuts himself off on a pointed finger. “Language. I will work on my language, Miss Morrison.”
The tight smile he’s flashed is barely acknowledged.
“Back then my little brother had some outside influences that encouraged him to pull the plug.”
“Friends?”
“Our parents.”
Perplexity immediately appears in my expression. “I knew I wasn’t always their favorite but-”
“You were a problem.”
The information lifts my eyebrows.
“You were a constant reminder of the mistakes they had made with him. You nurtured Ryder. You cared for him. You built him up and supported him in ways a mother should a son because you loved him. You were a reminder she didn’t do those things. You were a reminder that she indeed did have a mistake she couldn’t stop making. You were a reminder she was not perfect. You were also a reminder that she was once young and in love and received the type of affections my brother was devoted to showing you yet no longer did from the man she had married. She never directly told him to end things with you, but she made enough digs that I’m sure did more damage than he consciously realized.”
Never having had those thoughts cross my mind, I quietly croak, “But none of that was my intention. I just…loved your brother.”
“I know.” He replies on a wistful grin. “But you loved what she couldn’t. You loved what she had spent years ignoring out of resentment. And our father…” The trailing of his voice lets me know there’s even more there than what’s about to slip out. “He’s a…difficult man. He was even more… difficult back then. He spent many of his moments with Ryder emotionally beating him. Deliberately destroying him every chance he could. Just like our mother felt Ryder was a reminder of mistakes made, our father did too. Ryder was the embodiment of all of his insecurities. He was the apotheosis of the parts of himself he loathed. Before you, Ryder rarely ever spoke up against my father. Before you, he rarely ever disobeyed what he was told because he was desperate for approval. And even when he did exactly what our father wanted, he still never got it. However, you gave my brother the strength to face him in ways he never thought he could. You gave him love he didn’t think he deserved and hope I don’t think he knew existed. You changed Ryder’s life, Miss Morrison. And as his older brother, the one who regrets not being there enough for him when he needed me the most, I thank you.”
Noah’s words cause my tears to edge closer to escape.
“You changed my brother for the better without trying, so I have complete faith that your conscious leadership and skillset will change my daughter’s life for the better as well.”
Inability to withstand the emotional pain any longer pushes me to abruptly stand. “Thank you for your kind words, Noah. Um…I have to use the lady’s room. Can you excuse me for just a moment?”
“Take your time,” Noah nonchalantly insists, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Should probably check my email anyway.”
Rushing down the hall towards my office where my private ensuite restroom is, I mumble to Clemmy as I pass her, “Please, go keep Mr. Collins company outside the infant room for a few minutes. I have to use the restroom.”
She theatrically cringes. “Bad takeout?”
I frantically nod, going along with the easy line.
As soon as I’ve crossed the threshold into my office, I rush to the bathroom, shut the door, and begin to bawl uncontrollably.
Why is this happening to me?
Why now?
Chapter 13
Ryder
-“I’ve changed, but my love for you never will.”-
The room I’ve spent time hating yet now have a deep appreciation for is empty.
Completely. Fucking. Empty.
Which doesn’t make any fucking sense.
Doc is never late.
And today of all days – my last fucking session – shouldn’t be an exception.
This is the last moment that stands between me and freedom.
Me and finally starting over.
This is it for the old Ryder Collins.
I need to say goodbye.
I need him to help me say goodbye.
“Collins,” Doc suddenly calls from somewhere behind me. I turn around to see him leaned against the doorframe. “Let’s go to my office.”
“You sure?”
The expression on his face doesn’t change.
“Of course, you’re fucking sure.” I shove my hands in my white pants pockets. “Lead the way.”
The two of us head down the empty hall towards the row of offices in silence.
Everything is quieter than I’m used to.