Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 98992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
My chewing slows down as my eyes guiltily fall to my lap.
“It’s not a bad thing if you ask me, darling.”
I lift my gaze back to her.
“You’re twenty-eight. You run an insanely well-oiled company that you’re passionate about. You’re beautiful. Brilliant. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you that doesn’t stop at thirty nor is thirty the deadline for you to make crucial life decisions. There’s plenty of time to decide if you want a man like Xander or Ryder in your life. Hell, maybe what you truly want is somewhere in the middle. You have the power to make those choices in your life and so many others, you just have to take it back. As much as I hate what these little therapy sessions are doing to you, I’m glad that they are unearthing part of you that you’ve neglected. No one should wander through life alive, but not living, darling. That’s a total waste. Stop wasting your life. You’ve earned more than that. You deserve more than that.”
I grunt my agreement and reach for the last piece of bread in the bag.
“Please, stop eating your emotions,” Katherine pleads, fingers wrapped around my forearm. “Talk about shit. Let it go. Scream. Shout. Let it all out. Have a total Will.I.Am featuring Britney moment. Do something other than eat your body weight in bread.”
I reluctantly slide my hand away from the food and drop it into my lap. “What’s wrong with me, Katherine? Why am I just now acting like this? Why didn’t this shit happen years ago?”
“You’ve been dormant.”
“Dormant or a door mat?”
“Bit of both.”
“Ouch,” playfully leaves me as my body sags further in my seat.
“Believe it or not, you are part of the reason, I enjoy writing these books. I love helping others wake up and reevaluate their own lives. Discover what they’ve lost in their relationships or themselves. Revitalize lost love or respect or even sense of self.”
For the first time since we’ve been friends, I gain a new perspective and appreciation for what she does.
What she chooses to do.
Change isn’t easy.
And sometimes it needs a facilitation or inspiration you can only find in the page of a book.
The idea causes me to smile her direction, and as if she can hear my thoughts she sweetly grins back.
“And now that you’ve brought up what it is I love to do…”
“Did I bring that up?”
“I was going to skip today’s planned session and do it tomorrow, but now Carter’s parents are insisting we go to see his cousin’s boat for his upcoming sailing regatta, so what do you say we go ahead and do it today instead?”
My body slumps into my seat again. “Exactly how many of these are left?”
“Just this one.”
Relief and sorrow begin an internal skirmish while she retrieves her phone for recording.
Once the device is on the edge of my desk, she inquires, “Do you feel you were protective of Ryder?”
“Yes.”
If I were more honest with myself, I’d admit I’m still protective of him now.
“Do you ever feel there was a time you were too protective?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Can you recall a time where Ryder did something that maybe he should’ve been punished for, but you took the fall instead? He was a growing drug addict. Was there a time maybe he took something from you, and you convinced yourself you lost it instead? Maybe he lied about something, and you lied on top of that to cover for him?”
Slowly shaking my head, I whisper, “I’d rather not talk about this, Katherine.”
“I-”
“Can we, please, pick a different topic?”
“No.” Intrigue has her leaning forward. “We’re going to talk about this one.”
Anxiousness prompts my chin to tip towards the device recording. “Could we please at least do it off the record?”
“Wow,” she whispers in astonishment. “Even now? Even after all this time apart your first instinct is to protect him?”
There’s no stopping my face from cringing.
“That’s incredible, darling.” Katherine leans to one side, clearly captivated by my reaction. “And honestly, unexpected.”
“I would just…” I choke the tears that are threatening to overrule my voice. “I would just rather not have it on record.”
“This is confidential.”
“Katherine-”
“Darling.”
“Katherine.”
“Presley,” fear replaces previous excitement, “what exactly did Ryder do? What is it you still feel you need to protect him from?”
Slow shaking of my head instantly occurs.
Shortness of breath.
Tears collect in the corners of my eyes alongside the edges of my vocal cords. “You gotta understand…He just…wasn’t himself that night…”
--
There’s an ache in my head like no other.
Throbbing.
Pounding so hard my stomach churns.
Did I get drunk with Carmen again?
Did she convince me to pre-game before the club again?
Beeping sounds suddenly pierce my senses creating additional confusion.
Is that the academy bell?
Why is it steady beeping?
Wait!
Is that my alarm clock?
Am I running late for class?!
Panic has me swiftly shooting up; however, the blinding fluorescent lights pin me back to the bed.