Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Did I know the boy wanted me? Or wanted someone? Yes, I did, but I also refused to let him become to me what my mother had been to my father. To take someone young, who had nothing, and to make him feel trapped, to make him feel as if he owed me, until he had little choice but to stay with me. I wanted to care for Finley, yes, but I also wanted him to have options. I wanted him to always know he had a choice in being mine or not.
My mother hadn’t felt she had that choice. My father had been ruthless in beating her down until she felt she was nothing without him. And no matter what ugliness he showed her, she had never shown it to us. She had loved us, my sisters and me, until the three of them died because of my carelessness.
I shook my head, unwilling to let my thoughts go there. I had a job to do, and I damn sure planned to do it. If I couldn’t save them, I needed to save others.
The next few days went by without any major incident. Finley was doing well with school and keeping up with his chores around the house. He did well when given a routine and responsibilities, desiring so very much to do a good job for me. It was one of the most stunning things I had ever seen—his need to please and his passionate submission.
But my desire to dominate someone sexually was plaguing me more and more each day. The months Finley had been in my home were the longest I’d gone without playing with someone in a long time. I was on edge, the tension inside me coiling tighter, sharper, as I denied myself something I very much needed. Something I’d told myself I would continue to do, even with Finley as my houseboy, because our relationship wasn’t going to be about sex.
After work, I met David. “You okay?” he asked.
“Fine, I just…”
“You’re still not fucking that kid, are you?”
I groaned. “Because wording it like that is going to make me want to. Christ, David.”
“You already want to.” He shrugged. “You should do it since it’s what you both want.”
“It’s not always just about what I want. Maybe you live that way, but I don’t.”
David flinched, and I felt a familiar stab of guilt. “I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole.”
“No, you?” he teased.
I chuckled but didn’t truly feel it.
I wanted to get laid. I wanted to fuck. To demand. To dominate. To lead someone into that exquisite space where they lost themselves to my control.
When my meal with David was finished, I sat in my car and sent a text to Finley.
I won’t be home until late tonight. Continue with your normal responsibilities, but I would also like the equipment and mirrors in the gym cleaned and the fridge cleaned out.
I knew he would wonder where I was and would need something extra to take his mind off things. His response came almost immediately.
Sir?
Do as you’re told, Finley.
There was a pause before his reply. Yes, Sir.
I made a phone call after that, to a boy I’d played with before. I asked him if he was busy that night and if he wanted to meet me. He invited me over, and I knew he had a closetful of toys we could play with. “Clean yourself out for me. Unlock the door and be naked and kneeling for me when I arrive.”
“Yes, Sir,” he replied, and hearing the words from Les made my insides twist. It was uncomfortable hearing it from anyone other than Finley, as I hadn’t in so long.
Les was exactly where I told him to be when I arrived at his apartment. Once I had the door closed and locked, I looked at him, at his dark, curly hair and perfect posture. There was no reason I shouldn’t do this. No reason I shouldn’t want it. “Open my pants and get me hard,” I ordered, and Les crawled over to me and did just that.
The house was quiet when I arrived. It wasn’t the first time that had happened, obviously. There were times I worked late or was on call, so Finley wasn’t there to greet me as he would already be asleep, but this was…different.
My night with Les had gone as it should. I was good to him and read him and gave him what he needed. In turn, a part of me found what I sought in the dance of dominance and submission, but I wasn’t sated, and there was a heaviness in my chest, one that was even more potent than what I had felt before.
I locked up and went through the house, which was spotless as Finley was so good at keeping it. I took my shoes off and put them away before plucking a bottle of water from the fridge.