Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
It was then I realized without him, I 'Was' that girl; he gave me strength, the strength to be who I was when we were together, the strength to be a part of us, the two of us together. As he spoke with such uncertainty about our future, I had an epiphany. I wouldn't lie down and die as though this wound was unto death; I would suture this wound until it healed like new, maybe with a tiny scar, but heal it I will; I just had to figure out how.
Time washes clean love's wounds unseen; isn’t it funny that that was a line from one of my favorite songs by Linda Ronstadt?
CHAPTER 26
"I have my fucking pride Suzette, and you fucking trampled it into the ground on the side of the fucking street, and for what? A piece of shit actor who nobody's even heard of. I could give a fuck what they told you about me; that's just a bullshit excuse, fuck that, two people as close as we were, as in love as we were supposed to be, do not do that, fuckery to each other.”
I didn't give a Fuck that I was scaring her. At least I didn't have my hands wrapped around her fucking neck, snapping it in two. The anger was back in full force; let her deal with it; we were going to have this shit out once and for all. I’ll be fucked if I’m going to do this shit over and over again.
I needed to purge this pain from inside me before it ate me away like a fucking parasite. At that moment, I hated her so fucking much it scared the shit out of me. I hated, yet I loved, two sides to one coin, my fucking life was in a tailspin by someone else's design, someone else was controlling my moves, someone else had set this fuckery in motion, and I was the fucking court jester left to pick up the fucking pieces.
Well, since she had been so fucking stupid to get herself caught up in this shit, the least she could do was bear my fucking wrath. I deserved that much.
"Do you realize that most of the free world now sees you as a home-wrecking slut?"
She covered her mouth with her hands, but the cry of agony still escaped.
"Yes, Suzette, you are Hollywood's slut of the week. Now you can be in a lineup with all those reality stars and heiresses in the news for whom you held such fucking disdain; the funny thing is I don't remember any of them doing something as fucked up as you did; you fucking disgust me."
I was done with this shit, fuck, I can't do this, I thought I could, but I can't. I don't know-how; it would take a better man than me. I turned to head back to the house until an ear-piercing scream stopped me in my tracks.
As I turned, I saw a sight that left me cold; Suzette was pulling her hair with one hand, the other holding her chest as if to keep something in, and the screaming was never-ending. I reached for her as she crumbled to the ground in a crumpled heap. In her eyes was death. My butterfly was gone. Back into her fucking head. Well fuck me sideways with a crowbar; what was I supposed to do now?
I ran back to the house as quickly as I could with her cradled in my arms, that awful screaming in my head. This is exactly what I didn't want. I couldn't bear to see her like this, so broken, lost. It was tearing a fucking hole in my heart.
My dad must've heard her from inside because he met us at the door.
"What happened, son? Is she hurt?" He eyed her as if looking for any visible injuries.
"Not physically, no." I felt ashamed of myself; I had done this to her. Me, the man who was supposed to love her above all else to put her first. Was my love so shallow that I could do this? Did it really die on the side of that street in LA? Who am I, what am I?
"What happened, Gage?"
He tried taking her from me, but I wouldn't let him. I just kept walking to the room.
"We were talking. I was talking, I yelled at her, said some pretty harsh stuff. I went to walk away, and she just crumbled to the ground screaming, the most awful fucking sound I've ever heard."
She just kept breaking my fucking heart, didn't she? Now the screaming was over, only to be replaced by groaning. She moaned as she rocked herself back and forth in my arms. I finally laid her on the bed so dad could tend to her.
He started with the pulse shit and all that other fuckery I didn't have the first clue about.