Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
“But you didn’t…”
“What, love Maddie?”
I nod, loving that he can read me so easily. But I fear it too.
What if he somehow senses all the need grabbing onto me more and more each moment?
“No,” he says.
Stop it, I think, but the question doesn’t listen.
It’s like it asks itself.
“Have you ever loved anybody?”
He pauses, looking at me, into me, through me in that way of his. “I’m not sure.”
“Oh,” I murmur. “Lola never mentioned you having many girlfriends growing up. But I guess when you’re away….”
He shakes his head. “I haven’t slept with a woman since Lola was conceived.”
I freaking swear, this news almost sends me collapsing over the railing and into the pond. I can’t even fit it into my head.
He smirks and moves closer. “You don’t believe me.”
“No,” I whisper.
“Look at me and tell me I’m lying. I’ll always be honest with you, Faye. Always.”
The repetition of the word always has me thinking of the future, of warm fires in wintertime, laughter filling up our home, children’s footsteps, and Felix reading a bedtime story in his husky voice.
“I can’t,” I say softly. “But…really? That’s two decades!”
“Yeah,” he nods. “I guess it is.”
“So you and Maddie never…you know, after?”
“We didn’t,” he says. “Our relationship was about being parents to Lola, nothing more. And after that, I learned my lesson. I wouldn’t get involved with a woman unless I felt something real. I was starting to wonder if that would ever happen. But then I met you.”
“This sounds like something you tell women,” I say, heat rising to my cheeks. “A line to get them into bed.”
“Maybe it does, but why would I say it now, after the photoshoot? I don’t need to trick you. I can feel how badly you want it, the same way I do.”
“So you’re saying I’m the first person you’ve been attracted to in twenty years.”
I fold my arms, staring up at him, letting him hear the disbelief in my voice.
But his gaze is steady. So is his voice.
“Yes, I am. The moment I saw you, it was so different, so new. I knew I had to have you.”
Forever, I silently scream for him to add, but he doesn’t.
Still, this is closer to my dream life than I ever could’ve hoped for.
“You don’t have to exaggerate anything,” I tell him.
He moves even closer. People walk past us in the park, no clue who we are, probably assuming we’re a young woman with her older boyfriend. They have no clue about the collision of shame and want and lust and guilt coursing through us both.
“I’m not,” he growls. “You’re the first woman I’ve wanted in twenty years. And I’ve never felt like this before. Believe me or not, Faye, they’re facts.”
I reach up, almost touch him, then let my hand drop.
“Thanks for sharing all that,” I say, sounding lame even to myself. “I know it must’ve been hard to talk about.”
He steps back, knowing we have to be good.
“That’s why I want to tell you something,” I murmur. “Just in case….”
We get intimate again. And you think I’m going to be something I’m not.
“Yeah?”
I swallow, looking up at him, knowing this is it.
I can do it. This is the moment.
But then the words won’t come.
They fade away, and a dark feeling touches me.
I feel like I’m in high school again, dorky and ignored, always wondering what it would be like to be seen…but I don’t have to wonder anymore.
Felix sees me, looking down with those understanding, intense green eyes.
“I’ve never had an orgasm,” I say, lowering my voice. “I’m not sure I can. Just in case, you know, you thought I was going to be some crazy sex goddess or whatever.”
I turn back to the pond, my cheeks burning so much from this half-truth. I know I could never tell him all of it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Felix
As we walk back toward the office, we point out subjects that would make interesting photos, laughing together.
My body tries to make me walk closer to her, tries to force me to reach down and take her hand in mine, hold it tightly, hold it so she’s never going to belong to anybody else.
I’ve come so close to telling her all of it, roaring it.
You’re mine. I own you. Your smile and your ass and your talent and your wide hips and your gorgeous laughter and your thick creamy thighs… everything you are will belong to me.
Now, as she gestures to the ocean, my cock gives an urgent shudder.
My shaft is so tight, so hard. My tip is leaking with so much burning precome.
It’s what she said in the park, about never having had an orgasm.
It makes me think of her trying with other men, which is bad. But I couldn’t expect anything else. Even if she had a crush on me, she experimented here and there and had boyfriends.