Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“You saw us last night at dinner. I was cordial.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” She bites her lip. “I know you’re miserable without him.”
Miserable? Miserable doesn’t begin to scratch the surface. I wanted to scream all through Christmas dinner while we played 'happy family' and talked about my new apartment and everything Dad had planned for the trip he gifted Bianca yesterday. She didn’t have a clue, and throughout dinner, she was practically bouncing up and down in her chair with excitement. I think that’s a big part of what he loves most. She is genuinely grateful for everything he gives her. That was one area I knew my mother didn’t exactly excel in.
“Nothing’s changed. I told him he needed to show me his feelings instead of just using his words. Obviously, since he hasn’t done that yet, he doesn’t think it’s essential.” My voice breaks a little, and my smile hardens.
“Give him time.”
“He’s had a week. An entire week.”
“Which is time he also spent training Nathan, packing up his place, making security arrangements for yours…”
“Whose side are you on, anyway?”
“Yours, of course.” She takes my face in her hands. “Always yours. And I know how much you want to be with him, and I want that for you. So, so much. I’m just saying, give him a chance. I know he’s trying.”
“How would you know that, exactly?” It’s not a serious question, really. Then she gets a guilty look on her face, and I drop the fake smile. “Son of a bitch. Have you been talking to him behind my back?”
“Hold up. I can talk to whoever I want, especially when it’s somebody who loves you. And you and I have known each other for so long. He was looking for a little advice. I couldn’t say no. It would’ve been too mean.”
I can’t help it. Who could? “What did you say? What did he say?”
Her eyes twinkle, but she shakes her head. “Nope. You’re going to have to wait and see.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Everything ready?” As usual, Dad finds a way to interrupt us, practically bouncing out of the house wearing a wide smile. Why shouldn’t he? He’s a man with the whole world at his feet. And he’s about to go away for almost a whole week with his bride.
As annoyed as I still am with him — which I am, because I can’t forget how he talked down to me that night in my room – I’m glad to see him like this. For years, I wished he would take it easier. And now here he is, ready to run away from everything. He’s come a long way.
Still, his forehead creases when he looks at me. “I don’t like leaving you alone.”
“You’re only going to be half an hour away, and I’m a big girl.”
“That’s not the point.” He gives me a funny, sort of appraising look as he helps Bianca into the Lexus. “Everything okay with you? I don’t have to worry about leaving you alone?”
“Would it keep you from worrying if I told you everything was fine?”
“No.”
“Then why waste my breath?”
“Message received.“ He takes me by the shoulders and presses a kiss against my forehead. “We’ll be back for New Year’s Eve. If you need anything, you know how to reach us. And, God’s sake, get inside before you catch pneumonia.”
“Get out of here already so I can start partying,” I tease. “I’m fine. I might get a little peace and quiet for once.”
Very quiet. Sheryl stuck around long enough on Christmas Eve to make sure everything was in order for me to pop things into the oven for Christmas dinner at the times she wrote down, then went off to be with her family. She won’t come back until after the New Year. I’ll have to fend for myself this week, not that I can’t. If anything, I like the independence. I can’t wait to have more of it.
Dad is maybe three seconds away from getting into the car when something catches his eye and stops him. He lifts a hand and waves to Romero, who just stepped out onto the front porch of his cottage.
As usual, my heart aches. I haven’t stopped longing for him. The temptation to go to him has kept me awake at night and distracted me during the day. As far as I know, he still plans to come with me when I move. He’ll still be my bodyguard.
It’s just everything else about our relationship that I’m entirely in the dark about. What if I finally pushed him away too many times? What if he doesn’t come back this time? What if I lost my chance?
Our eyes meet – unlike last night at dinner, I don’t look away. Now that the car is rolling down the driveway, I don’t have to hide my feelings. I mean, I didn’t really have to hide them last night, either, since pretty much everything about us is out in the open now. That doesn’t mean I feel comfortable letting everybody see what having him near does to me. I was glad Sheryl‘s absence gave me something to do, a reason to keep busy making sure there was enough food on the table and everybody had what they needed.