Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“She makes questionable choices. You said it yourself.”
“Bullshit.” He leans back in his chair, still studying me. “She didn’t see how your eyes lit up when she said she loves you, but I did. You can stop acting like it doesn’t matter how she feels. It matters to you very much.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Romero.” He massages his temples, wincing. “This is my fault. I blame myself.”
“For what?”
“Letting you go through life believing all this bullshit you’ve sold yourself. I’ve watched you grow up. You’ve become a man I’m proud of–the son I never had in many ways. But I failed you.”
I’ve never heard him like this. He may as well have lapsed into another language. I’m too confused by this sudden turn of events to say a word.
“Your mom…” He sighs before a slight smile touches the corners of his mouth. “She didn’t send you here to protect you. That wasn’t the only reason. She knew you’d have a better chance at a life here. Opportunities. She didn’t know the finer points of my business, and that was for the best.”
Yeah, it was, or else she would’ve known exactly what my new job involved. She’s been dead for years, and the idea still makes me cringe. She wouldn’t be proud of the man I’ve become.
Living with myself was easier when I didn’t think about her.
“It’s not enough for you to lock yourself away from the world. You have to give yourself a chance to live a life, which means letting go of the things you can’t change. She would want you to give yourself a chance at living.”
“Even if giving myself a chance means being with Tatum?” I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. I can’t believe I’m still alive. I’ve seen the man lose his temper over far less, which never ended well for the other guy. Even though he seems to have calmed down, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m living on borrowed time. This is as honest a conversation as we’ve ever had. It’s a shame it took something so monumental to bring it on.
He bends his fingers under his chin and draws his lips together until they almost disappear. “I’m not going to pretend to be happy about this. It has nothing to do with you personally. When I say you’re not the kind of man I wanted for her, I mean I wanted her to settle down with somebody outside this life.”
“Mr. Nine-to-Five? Complete with full benefits and a 401(k) plan?”
He snorts and shakes his head. “Okay, I see your point. But you have to see mine.”
“I do. She wouldn’t want to be with someone like that, anyway.”
“Right. Because you know her so well now.”
“You know her, too, and I’m right. I know you want what’s best. She knows you want what’s best. You must know she would always choose the opposite of what you wanted.”
“She’s not easy.”
I can only wince and shake my head. “No. She’s not easy.”
“But you were still willing to risk your neck for her.”
“I don’t know how else I can say it. I do… I do love her.” It’s still awkward, difficult to force the words out.
“I believe you. Now, what are you going to do about it?”
That’s the question, isn’t it? What do I do now?
There’s a tentative knock at the door. We exchange a glance before Callum raises his voice. “Come in.”
My chest tightens as the door slowly opens. I don’t expect it to be Tatum – I don’t think she would show her face yet. Not when I brushed her off back there.
Bianca’s pale face appears from around the edge of the door. She looks at Callum. She looks at me. Then she releases a deep sigh. “Thank God. I was afraid there’d be blood on the walls.”
“Give me a little more credit.”
Instead, she gives him a knowing smirk before turning her gaze on me. “Everything’s okay?”
Define okay. “How is she?”
“Upset.” I start to stand, but she shakes her head firmly. “I wouldn’t right now.”
“I’m not going to leave tonight without at least trying to talk to her.” Bianca shrugs helplessly and looks like she’s watching me slip a noose around my neck as I brush past her.
My footsteps are sharp against the floor, and my heart — I’m amazed it hasn’t burst from my chest yet. Callum didn’t exactly give his blessing, but he didn’t threaten to rip my hands off, either. That’s as good as it’s going to get.
His daughter, on the other hand? The jury’s still out.
But the other barriers have fallen. What he said broke through the doubt I’ve carried for so long. Too long. It was one thing to get a lecture from Becky – and all the lectures I received from Tatum as well about being open to life and all that shit. But it was Callum who brought the point home. He put everything in focus.