Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
“Gavin!”
“Yes love.” I squeezed in a little bit closer to his side and closed my eyes tight. I ran my hand over his chest until it came to rest over the beat of his heart. I kept my eyes closed and jumped in headfirst
“He liked to play Russian roulette, it got to the point that he was doing it almost every other night, or whenever he’d catch me outside of my room.” I felt my gorge rise and took deep calming breaths as my body started to shake.
I didn’t miss the fact that he’d tensed up under me already. I’d written some of this in the journal, but not the extent to which I’d suffered. He squeezed my shoulder when I didn’t say anything more. “Go on!”
“The first couple of times I was scared out of my mind, I thought for sure I was gonna die. I knew he could do it and get away with it, he’d told me so a thousand times. Only I didn’t know that he was such a coward that the gun was never loaded.” I stopped to catch my breath so I could go on without choking on my words.
“He’d always go first to show me how brave he was and I figured he knew which chamber the bullet was in.” I shook with remembered terror.
“Then one day by chance I found out that the gun was never loaded but by then fear had me in its grip. I knew that one day he really could load it. A few months ago I…I loaded one bullet in the first chamber …”
I held my breath waiting for the repulsion, already dreading the end of our relationship, already regretting telling him the truth.
“Good for you.” I picked my head up and stared down at him not quite believing what he’d said.
“What?” There was no disguising the sound of tears in my voice or the hopeful relief tinged with disbelief. “Is that what you were hiding from me? What you found so hard to share?” I could only nod my head still waiting for him to tell me it was over.
He pulled me down and kissed my forehead before putting my head back down on his chest again. “Is that all of it?” I nodded my head and wrapped my arm around his chest as far as it would go. I’d been so afraid to share that with him and here he was treating my confession as though it were nothing. Wait! Did he truly understand what I just said?
“Gavin, you know what I’m saying don’t you? The night he killed himself he was playing…”
“I got it baby, now just put it out of your head. You did a smart thing to survive that’s all. He got what he deserved for tormenting you. You’re not the one who chose to play that sick game so whatever he got he had coming.”
Before I could think too much he rolled me onto my back and leaned over me, strategically blocking out the rest of the world. And when he kissed my lips I soon forgot about everything else but the feel of his hands and mouth on me, and the feel of him slipping into me nice and slow.
I love the way he wrapped his arm around me protectively and held my head in the other while peering into my eyes as we moved together, slowly at first before the tempo changed and he was soon driving into me the way I like, like he couldn’t get deep enough inside me.
His eyes told me all of what he was feeling and I fought for air at the intensity of what I saw there. “Breathe!” I didn’t realize that he’d stopped moving and was petting me softly, waiting for me to catch my breath.
I smiled to let him know that I was okay and he lowered his lips to mine, starting that sweet slow glide into me all over again. “I love you.” He said the words against my mouth before slipping his tongue past my lips, and I showed him my love without words, wrapping myself around him as we made slow sweet, passionate love.
With the last barrier finally down between us I felt myself let go completely and believe that this could be forever and that his love would never fail. That I could have all the things he’d whispered to me alone in the dark with him.
I’d shown him the worst of me and he still loved me. Because of that I was no longer worried or cared what others might think, or how the rest of the world might see me. Right now, in this moment, with his love shoring me up, none of it mattered. All that mattered was being here with him like this.
And when I felt the pulse of his heated flesh deep inside me, felt him getting ready to cum, I gave him the words it had been so hard for me to say before.